Here are a few of the things my youngest son has said over the past few days. Some is Easter related, some isn't:
Mr. M.: Dad, the Easter Bunny came last night.
Me: He did? What did he bring?
Mr. M.: He brought lots of stuff.
Me: Like what? Did he bring eggs?
Mr. M.: Yeah.
Me: Did he bring candy?
Mr. M.: Yeah.
Me: Did he bring guns?
Mr. M.: No! The Easter Bunny doesn't bring guns.
Me: Ok. Just checking.
Togers: Besides, [Mr. M.] already has enough guns.
Mr. M.: No I don't!
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Mr. M.: Mom, the Easter Bunny isn't a bunny. It's a guy in a bunny suit. And he doesn't walk, he just drives or flies to everyone's house to leave candy for kids.
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Mr. M.: Mom, I'm gonna learn Spanish so I can go to China.
Ex-Wife: Except in China they speak Chinese.
Mr. M.: No Mom, they speak Spanish.
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Mr. M. doesn't like to eat fish, so the other night when my ex-wife fixed some for dinner, she lied and told him it was chicken so that he'd eat it.
Mr. M.: Mom, my chicken tastes like fish. I think it's because they have a machine that they put fish in and turn it into chicken.
Hey don't knock the logic of learning Spanish to go to China....you have to learn English to go to America don't you?
ReplyDeleteWOW---what a profound thinker he is turning into--and you never have enough GUNS!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSpanish Chinese people... interesting.
ReplyDeleteThe Spanish-Chinese theory was the best as I'm curious where that came from. Also, the Easter Bunny toting around heavy weaponary is a good one.
ReplyDeleteMy kids won't eat fish. Once I made clam chowder. They asked what was in it. I said, "meat, potatoes..etc." They seemed content with that and ate it and liked it. When they were done, I told them the meat was clams. They never forgave me for that, and over the years they morphed that experience and said that I lied to them. I didn't lie...I told them it was meat. It was meat. :P
ReplyDeleteWe all need a machine that can turn fish into Chicken -- I personally like Fish, just ate some for lunch today, but still a machine that could turn Fish into Chicken would be AWESOME
ReplyDeleteRambo Easter Bunny - I could see it.
ReplyDeleteLet's strive for correct sentence structure, shall we?
ReplyDelete"Some of them are related to Easter and some of them are not."
Gypsy, I suppose so, although there are plenty of people who don't.
ReplyDeleteDee Ice Hole, I thought you especially would appreciate that.
Ryan, that would make for an interesting accent, no?
Delirious, clams aren't fish, they're molluscs, so they should have liked it anyway.
Bill, I just like the idea that in his mind, if there's a problem there must be some sort of machine that can handle it or is responsible for it.
$2, Boxer, we could write a script about a heavily armed Easter bunny and have a multimillion dollar kids movie on our hands.
Troll, point taken. I kind of lose credibility with that after my rant about misspelling and improper English the other day, eh?