The Hungarian

To revisit an old theme, I'm presenting yet more evidence to support Native Minnow's theory of his own sexiness.

The first line of evidence is on ratemyprofessor.com. A web site where students are able to go and post comments about professors they've had for college classes. Other students can then go read these comments to help them make a decision about what professors to try and take the classes from. While I'm not a professor, I have taught a couple of introductory classes, and a lot of labs. Apparently this site allows people to post comments about TA's so I have had some of my students post comments about me. It's a little flattering because I have a pretty high approval rating, but the best part is that they allow students to post a chili pepper next to a professor's name if they think that person is hot. I have a chili pepper next to my name, and one of the students ended their post with "plus he's kinda cute."

I do have to point out that it apparently isn't just females that find me sexy. I should have told this story much earlier, but it didn't occur to me until now so here goes:

About a year and a half ago I was leaving my office to go home and get something to eat. As I got to my car I had a guy approach me and ask me for a ride. I felt bad for the guy since it was about 115 degrees outside (Vegas in the summer time is not a fun place to be), so I went against my better judgement and told him that as long as he was going somewhere nearby that I could give him a lift. He got in the car and began to strike up some conversation as I drove away. I wasn't really thinking at first, but it occurred to me after a few blocks that he still hadn't told me where he was going, so I asked.

"Wherever you're going is fine."

This set off alarms in my head, but then I told myself I was overreacting and that I'd just seen too many Kids in the Hall skits where gay guys use that as a pick up line. I didn't really know where to go, but I did know that I wasn't taking this guy to my house, so I just kept driving while thinking about how to get out of the situation I had gotten myself into. Then we had the following exchange:

Him: "So [Native Minnow], what's your ethnicity?"
Me: "Uh, I'm white."
Him: "No, I mean where are your ancestors from?"
Me: "Mostly from Scotland and England. How about you (still trying to be nice)?"
Him: "Hungary. Get it? Hung?"

Now the fire alarms were going off in my head. I should have stopped the car right then and told him to get out, but I'm too nice for that so figured I needed to take him back to the place where I picked him up, but I had told him I was going for dinner, so felt like I needed to go get some food so that my story didn't change either. I decided I would stop by a fast food place, and there was a KFC nearby so I headed in that direction. I did start talking about my girlfriend (at the time we were still going out), my kids and my ex-wife, just to get it across to him that I wasn't gay. I stopped and got some food and headed back towards my office. At this point he started pulling out all the tricks that I can only assume would work on other gay males. He talked about how he liked living in Vegas except he didn't like having sweaty balls all the time (not sure how I was supposed to respond to that one, so I just kept driving). He asked if he could come back to my office with me, and whether or not I had internet there (which I could only assume was so we could look up gay porn). Then we had another interesting exchange:

Him: "So do you have any nicknames [Native Minnow]?"
Me: "Nope."
Him: "So what do people call you?"
Me: "Just [Native Minnow]."
Him: "Really? People don't come up and say 'What's up Big D?' Because you look like the Big D type."

*edit* My real name does start with a D.

Yikes! I couldn't get back to my office fast enough. Once we parked though, he acted like he was going to follow me there, so I decided to go share my food with a friend of mine who had been teaching labs all day. I walked in while she was giving a practical final, which confused her about why I would be interrupting something so important. I walked to the front of the room, showed her the bag of food and said, "I brought you some food in case you want it, but more importantly, there's a gay guy who is trying to pick up on me and I can't get rid of him." She told me that she suspected some of her students of cheating so said I could stay and watch them with her. I did that until he went away (he was waiting in the hall for a little while).

It's a really funny story to look back on now, but it certainly wasn't very funny at the time. I decided that would be the last time I was going to be nice to strangers. Nevertheless, still more evidence to the fact that I am indeed a sexy man.