Jesus knows just how you feel when you're falling asleep, asleep at the wheel

Sometimes I get in certain moods and the only thing that helps me to get out of them is to drive. Fast. I'm in such a mood tonight, but the problem is I don't dare push it any further once I get about 20 mph above the speed limit. Not because I'm afraid of getting into an accident, but rather because I know that I can't afford to pay the speeding ticket I'll get if I were to get pulled over. Sometimes I long for the days when I didn't really give a shit, but the monetary consequences are too long lasting. Consider it a lesson learned the hard way.

Tonight I couldn't remember how fast my car would go before the governor on the engine would kick in. I only got up to 90 before worrying about whether a cop would be around the next corner so I didn't find out for sure. It's at either 97 or 102 mph, but it's been a while since the last time it kicked on. That was one of the luckier moments in my life considering it was when I fell asleep at the wheel in a construction zone on my way from Vegas to Salt Lake City to visit my kids. It gave me a pretty good adrenaline rush. Good enough that I didn't have to worry about falling asleep at the wheel again that night. In fact, that was the last time I've ever dozed off while driving.

The strange thing about that situation is that I didn't panic. I never panic. I'd like to think it's because I'm so brave that I'm not concerned about my own mortality. My dad says it's more likely because all of the males in our family have a gene that makes them stupid. We don't panic because we're too dumb to know that we ought to be scared.

One of these days it's probably going to catch up to me.