I'm not quite sure what it is about me, but I always seem to get caught up in very random and perverted conversations. Maybe it's the fact that I'm a pervert. Sometimes the perversion is my fault. Other times, I'm just an innocent bystander in a perversion drive-by. I swear, it just seeks me out. Take the other day for example. I was talking with a couple of people I work with, and somehow we got on the topic of herpes.
Guy 1: Everyone has herpes.
Me: Not me. Maybe everyone else. I've never even had a cold sore.
Guy 1: That doesn't matter. There are like 12 different strains. Everybody has at least one of them.
Me: Well, which one do you have?
Guy 2: Whichever one comes from having dick on dick sex.
(See? Drive-by.)
Guy 1 (still trying to make his point): Have you ever had mono? That's a type of herpes.
Me (sticking to my ridiculous claim): Well, how could I have had mono then? I've never had herpes.
Guy 1: Do you breathe?
Guy 2: Your lungs are made of herpes.
Guy 1: Have you ever had tartar on your teeth? That's herpes.
Guy 2: Do you use tartar control Crest? I do. I use it because I don't want tartar totally eliminated, I just want to keep it under control.
4 comments:
Are you wearing a black T-shirt with white lettering that says
pervert?
Guy 2 is the best.
Kris, do you know where I can purchase a t-shirt like that? I'd totally wear it.
i agree, guy 2 IS the best.
Post a Comment