Where have all the friends gone?

On my way back from British Columbia, I stopped in Seattle to spend a little time with one of my best friends from high school. He and I haven't seen each other in eight years, and since I was four days ahead of schedule (my trip went better than planned, even though I forgot to sacrifice a virgin to the volcano gods before I left. Hey, you try finding a virgin in Las Vegas. And a volcano for that matter.) I decided to stay there for a day. It was great to catch up. What I found was that he and I have lived very different lives.

Here are a few examples:

• He has lived in 39 different countries. I have lived in three states.
• He goes fishing for King Salmon in Canada on weekends. I blog.
• He makes a lot of money. I make $600 a year.
• He rides a Ducati. I drive a Sentra.
• He has hung out with the Maloof brothers. I've watched a movie in their casino.
• He has slept with a lot of gorgeous women. I haven't.
  

Even with those differences, hanging out with him was just like old times.

Him: I'm going to take you to one of the swankiest night spots in Seattle.
Me: Sounds good, but I don't have anything to wear.
Him: You will in a second. Here, put this on. It's a $200 t-shirt.
Me: Ok. Wow, it's tight. I think you can see my nipples.
Him: It's supposed to be tight. Here, let me see. You look gay. Perfect, let's go.


When we reached our destination he started complaining that it was mostly guys in the crowd. It was a total sausagefest, but there were at least a few attractive ladies.

Me: Well, that lady over there is pretty cute.
Him: Yeah, but she's got the ass of a twelve year old boy. I like it!


We got bored of that place after a while, then he and his friends decided we should hit another place just down the street. As we were walking he lit up a cigarette (Seattle has a ban on indoor smoking).


His Friend: Do you have any more cigarettes?
Him: Why yes, yes I do.


He then proceeded to take cigarettes out of the pack one at a time, throw them on the ground and stomp on them. It cracked me up. Mostly because I knew that's what his reaction would be even before he acted.


The next morning as he was leaving for work he told me to just lock everything up when I left.


Him: Like I told you yesterday, I'm leaving town for the weekend, but if you want to stick around another couple of days, the apartment is yours. It's a pretty nice bachelor pad for you to bring girls back to. I mean, look at that. Girls take their panties off when they see that view. It's automatic.

I should have taken him up on that!

Here's the view from his apartment:

Here's the view from my room: