I'm going to copy Bill Maher today. I'm giving you my list of things that must go. Without further ado:
-People who almost come to a complete stop before making a right turn out of traffic and into a parking lot (or driveway). Learn how to drive before you take your car out on the road.
- People who have to do a three point (or more) turn to get into, or out of, a parking space. Again, learn how to drive your vehicle.
- People who talk on their cell phones while at the gym. Know when to unplug people.
- LA Lakers fans who chant M-V-P every time Kobe goes to the free throw line. It's annoying. And so is Kobe, so, while we're at it . . .
- Kobe Bryant.
- Fat chicks who dress like they're not. Cover that fat up. Nobody needs to see that shit.
- Couples who share email accounts, myspace pages, etc. It's not cute. It makes you look like you have control issues, or don't trust each other. And, if you don't, break up.
- The 9/10 of a cent placed on the end of gas prices. Gas isn't $4.039/gallon, it's $4.04. Quit treating us like we're stupid. We all round up anyway.
- American Idol. Because it sucks.
- Jared from Subway. Ditto.
12 comments:
That's a great list...I especially agree with the fat chicks thing since we seem to have a plague of that here. And I have to add that I have never watched even one episode of American Idol because it's gay. I would also like to add that old people need to just stay home and out of the way because they drive slow, they walk slow, they take 20 minutes to write a check (who writes checks anymore?) and they're alwyas mean and cranky no matter how nice you are to them. And gas is $4.04 out there? Ouch.
Minnow. Idol sucks, I am glad for jared though but yeah, I am also very tired of him as well, we get it you eat subway, you used to be fat and now your not....
And Gilbert Girl I am old and getting fat and I have slowed down a bunch---I still write checks and still get paper statements and yeah I know I can do it another way but I ain't a gonna do it---the paper in the mail tells me that is the day that I need to balance all the books and make certain I have written into the record all of the money I have spent---and make sure I still have some to spend
first: i LOVE bill maher. he is on my list. i just think he is wonderfully wonderful. and, clearly makes me talk like a teenager. along with pretty mch eveything else.
second: right on about the cellphones at the gym! it is so annoying! clearly, you are not working out hard enough if you can talk on the cell phone.
third: jared, american idol, gross fat chicks, and shared email accounts are all retarded.
have you ever WATCHED American Idol?
Gilbert Girl, glad you liked it, and yes, gas prices are that high. It was only $3.999 last night, so I thought I'd wait until morning to gas up, and it rose 4 cents overnight. It's not going to get any better either, so I guess we ought to just get used to it.
Bill, I'm to the point where I'm not even glad for Jared. I just want him to go away. Besides, I heard a rumor that he got gastric bypass surgery done anyway. I'm too lazy to look it up, but if true that pretty much makes him a fraud.
Dee Ice Hole, you may have put on weight, but you can hardly call yourself fat. I'm just sayin'.
Steph, Bill Maher is awesome. I pretty much keep up on current event by watching him, John Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Well, I do browse the New York Times and Washington Post, but those aren't nearly as entertaining.
Boxer, as a matter of fact I have. And it sucks ;-)
I watched American Idol the year Carrie Underwood won, and I like her. I liked that year. But unless you watch from beginning to end, I agree...it does suck.
Please add Jared the Jewelry store and that Verizon dude to your list. And Doug Collins. And all the local news broadcasters who feel like they need to keep telling us how fucking expensive gas is. Guess what? We know it's expensive. We have cars, we drive. The price of gas is not news. It's no longer newsworthy. It's just piss-me-off-worthy.
You should add Ryan Adams to that list. He sucks.
Fuck Kobe... I hate that guy!!
And cell-phone talkers at the gym... AND when people make joint Myspace accounts... irritating little bastards.
I'm in a bad mood now, thinking about all that annoying shit.
That fat chick thing deserves it's own post, in my opinion. Here's the deal on Troll Island:
1) Thankfully, not very many true behomeths (20%+ over ideal weight) dress that way.
2)Not many moderately overweight 30-40 year olds dress that way.
3) But the number of 16-30 year-old currently moderately fat and moving inexorably towards behometh status chicks is skyrocketing. They ALL dress in fit-girl clothes. And NOBODY (but me) tells them they're too fat for that style.
The group in category 3 COULD probably find guys who aren't total losers who would do them if they dressed intelligently.
It would be the old "Hmmmm, she's fatter than I thought but what the hell, I'll do her" thing once the bedroom was reached.
And that (getting laid by a guy who isn't a total loser) has historically been an incentive for moderately fat chicks to LOSE some weight.
I feel sorry for category 3.
wondering which category I fall in..hmm....
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