Last night there was a bachelorette party at the table next to us at the bar. They were playing some sort of dice game where they needed to do certain things with certain types of people. A half hour or so after they started I heard someone call out to me.
"Are you tall?"
"Yeah, I'm tall."
"Good. Can you come here for a second?"
Then the bachelorette grabbed my hand and started singing to me: "I don't want anybody else, when I think about you I touch myself*."
Apparently the dice told her she needed to sing to a tall guy. I was happy to offer my services.
About an hour later, she walked back over to the table.
"I need a tall guy again. You're my trusty tall guy. You're the one I can sing to. Can you help me again?"
"Sure, no problem."
"Now I'm supposed to do a shot with a tall guy. Will you do a shot with me?"
"Uh, okay."
"What do you want?"
"I don't know. Just get whatever you want. I don't drink."
"You don't drink? What do you mean you don't drink?"
"I mean I don't drink. I've only done a shot once. Twice if you count sake. This will be the third shot I've ever taken in my life."
"We're going to do a Jager Bomb."
So I did a Jager bomb** with her. Who am I do deny a dying*** woman her last wish?
My friend is convinced that I could've made out with her last night. Looking at some pictures that another friend texted me of the event, I think he might be right. She was hanging on me for a little while afterward, posing for pictures and whatnot. I didn't make out with her though. I only gave her a kiss on the cheek.
I'm classy, yo.
*Remember Divinyls?
**It was terrible - don't worry, I'm not going to start drinking.
***Dying, getting married, same diff.
8 comments:
Passion isn't about the use of the seven deadly sins.
True passion comes with those who seek balance and who can see thru the manipulation and bullshit of it all.
i am obsessed with that song.
and did you know: jager bombs are the official drink of florida? i never knew that until i lived here, but many places have jager on tap -- what the hell? i used to resist them, but now i just embrace it.
1) You spend more time at Bars with sluts than most alcoholic sex addicts and yet...
2) I think I know the song you're using here. "Bar-Room Blitz"?
3) The Jager Bomb is only the Official Drink of Florida White Trash. Not the whole State.
Okay, here is what the divinyls are famous for: the song " I TOUCH MYSELF" It is the only hit they ever had but yet it is probably the king of all one hit wonders that has ever been sung. Proof is that a guy who supposedly never drinks had a shot of Yager... htclearly
to Troll - I'm pretty sure it's "ballroom blitz", but I'm proud of you for getting it close!
Now Minnow, you really don't drink? I'm sort of shocked, impressed and intrigued all at the same time.
jager is the bomb! don't be a wuss.
I wondered the story behind the pictures of this event I saw on fb :D
jaeger is gross.
You need to get this "dice game" and bring it to bars with you in the future. Tall guy!
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