Line by line we all scrape by

My friend even went so far as to draw up a contract for me to sign before she trains me to become a sassy black woman.  The terms and conditions are covered in the waiver:

I __________ __________fully understand and acknowledge that risks and dangers exist in my participation in the Sassy Black Woman In Training (SBWIT) program. My participation in such activities may result in injury or illness including but not limited to bodily injury including broken bones, extreme bitchiness, bone fractures, inability to keep opinions to yourself, partial or total paralysis, spontaneous dancing, ghetto fights, eye injury, uncontrollable lip smacking, blindness, broken press-on nails, improper speech, projectile vomiting, explosive diarrhea, ripped out hair weave, heat stroke, neck jerkiness, death or other ailments that could cause serious disability.

These risks and dangers may be caused by negligence of SBWIT trainers or participants, and forces of nature (acts of God). I hereby assume all risks and dangers and all responsibility for losses, damages or injury. I voluntarily agree to release, waive, discharge, hold harmless, defend and indemnify the SBWIT program from any and all claims, actions or losses for bodily injury, property damage, and wrongful death which might arise.

There are 3 SBWIT packages from which you can choose. The beginners package (which is kinda lame - like a kiddie ride), the intermediate package (which provides several "behind the scenes" moments in the world of SBW)...or you can jump right into the hardcore SBW-VIP package. Due to the intense nature of the hardcore program, details will be provided upon registration.