I look around the world and see that only stupid people are breeding

I am an arrogant bastard*. I tend to think of myself as smarter than most people. While there are those who would argue that this is hardly true, it's true in my mind, and that's all that matters to me. As is the case with most arrogant bastards, I have a bunch of indicators that allow me to know how much smarter I am than everyone else. Some of these are obvious, some less so. The list of indicators is long, and I won't go into all of them here, but I thought I'd share some of the most obvious ones.

I am smarter than you . . .

. . . if you spell the word definitely wrong (e.g., definately).

. . . if you misuse words in your writing (e.g., waste instead of waist).

. . . if you think to, too and two are interchangeable (same thing goes for there, their and they're).

. . . if you write that you "must of" done something wrong (instead of must have).

. . . if you use the following substitutions in your emails**: da instead of the, 2 instead of to, u instead of you, etc.

. . . if you say "liberry"*** instead of library.

Maybe I should have been an English teacher.

Also, whether it's fair or not, I apply a double standard****. I am much more likely to let some of these slide if you're someone that I like as opposed to someone I don't, or if you're a friend or casual acquaintance instead of someone I'm in a relationship with. I haven't kept it a secret that I'm a shallow person. A woman has to be attractive to pique my interest, but believe it or not, good looks alone aren't enough to keep me interested. That's where sense of humor and intellect come in.






*Anyone who doesn't believe me should go talk to my ex-wife. She'll tell you the same.

**It's one thing to do it in text messages, and another if you do it in emails. If you use them in text messages I'll only be mildly annoyed, but can understand if you think it saves you that much effort (even though it doesn't).

***See?


****Especially if I'm the one that makes the mistake, in which case I'm still smarter than you.