Hindsight's given me too much memory

Eight years ago today, at approximately 3:30 a.m.

"Where have you been? I'm going to be late for work."

"Well, I made it back in time, so don't worry about it. Go to work."

"Where were you?"

"With my cousin."

"Until three in the morning? Doing what?"

"I don't know, just hanging out with him and his friends. They're more fun than you."

"You need to stop doing this. You know I can't just leave the kids and go to work on the assumption that you'll be back."

"I think you need to move out."

"What?"

"It's over."

I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

Last night I was talking with someone who is going through a divorce. While I don't really know many of the details of hers, our conversation reminded me of a lot of the details of mine. I'm not going to revisit those, but it did remind me of what became my theme song during that time. Here are the lyrics (as best as I can tell):

Scolding Wife by Great Big Sea
Well I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago
And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe
My wife she is a tyrant around the room and in
And she'd sell me to the devil for a glass or two of gin

Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man
And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram
And if I chance to say a word it's well I know my doom
She'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

When I get up at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head
When I come home at dinner time I'll find her drunk in bed
When I come home at supper time with patience I must stop
'Cause she drinks what's in the teapot and I must drink the slops

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

Well once I asked my scolding wife if I could go to bed
She scarce gave me an hour on the pillow to lay me head
When like a roaring lion she came bustin' down the door
She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

Now me and my companions go to a public place
She'll search around the neighborhood until she finds my face
She'll hoist me up in ridicule before the company
Saying petticoats is your master and forevermore shall be

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
(fades out)

Sadly, there's not a great video of it on YouTube, so this is the best of what I had to choose from:



I missed a chance to see these guys play in L.A. about two years ago. Some of my friends went, but I didn't because I would have had to drive all night and then teach the next morning on no sleep. Looking back, I wish I would have gone.