I'm a fast talkin' hell raisin' son of a bitch

Immediately following my sister's graduation ceremony, my brother and I were talking about what a good job she did with her valedictorian speech. He couldn't remember what he said in his, and I couldn't remember what I said in mine, but we know that neither of them were as good as hers.

Thinking back on it though, I'm pretty sure mine went something like this:

Hey there buckaroo and buckaroo-ettes, as we sit here on this graduation day many of us have come to the realization that the days of roping miniature rocking-horse type bulls in the halls are over. It's time for the big rodeo of life. Many of us don't know what the future holds, but it's time to cowboy up, take that bitch by the horns and ride that sucker for all she's worth. We're talkin' the full 8 seconds baby. Now, go out there and git 'er done. Yeeeeee haaaaawwww!!!


At least that's what it looks like I'm saying in this picture*:

*I don't know who took this picture, I'm pretty sure it was my friend's mom, but I love how they didn't bother to try and move a few inches to the side in order to miss the back of someone's head.

Without an answer the thunder speaks from the sky

Tomorrow I have to present some of my research at a symposium here on campus. It's always hard to get excited to present at this particular symposium because the only people who are going to be there are others who are presenting their research, so there's not really an audience that's particularly interested in what is being presented. However, we all received funds from the same source, and in order to be eligible to receive future funding it's required that we present at this symposium (just another hoop to jump through).

I was talking about it with one of my lab mates and he mentioned something about how inevitably people ask stupid questions at the end of the presentations (side note, whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question lied). On top of that, someone almost always asks "Why should I be interested in this research?" (which clearly indicates that they are not interested in the research - one of the problems about speaking to an audience that is only there because they have to be). Sure, we could go on and on about how it's important to know how things have evolved and so forth, but the answer most people are looking for when asking such a question is how it affects people.

Well, fear not gentle reader, for my lab mate has offered the best possible answer to that question and it is as follows:

"Well, for one thing, it keeps me off the streets and away from your daughter."

That's one I may have to start using.