Teenage angst has paid off well now I'm bored and old

Friend: I tried that pizza place you told me about.

Me: Yeah? What'd you think.

Friend: It was pretty good. A little spendy though.

Me: Yeah. You don't want to take your three kids there and then pick up something for your ex-wife and her husband. As a matter of fact, you don't want three kids and an ex-wife.

Friend: I was just gonna' say . . .


----------------Same Friend Different Day----------------


Friend: Wait, how old is [Tortellini] again?

Me: Fourteen.

Friend: That means in another four years you'll be done paying child support for her, right?

Me: Right.

Friend: Then how long until you're done paying child support altogether?

Me: [Togers] turns eighteen in six years, so that's it*.

Friend: Wow. I haven't even started paying my child support** yet.





*Except for the fact that college tuition will be due around that time.

**This friend has never been married, nor has he fathered a child, so this is not meant to imply that he's a deadbeat.