I don't fully understand all the reasons why, but I seem to have to fight depression more around the holidays than I do at other times of the year. In the past I've been able to get around it by keeping extremely busy. Since I'm a student, finals week is usually enough of a stressor to keep me busy. On top of that I used to work for a shipping company where we would be completely swamped around Christmas time. Fortunately, the worst days didn't hit until after finals were over. This year I don't have any finals, nor do I have to work at that stupid job anymore (a major decrease in the amount of stress in my life I might add). The downside to that is that I probably have a little more free time where I can think about things. I try to keep myself busy to prevent that from happening, but I'm not always successful.
Another part of it is the fact that I don't really have that 'special someone' to spend my free time with. It definitely hits me more since my ex-wife and I split up. It's not that I'm sitting around longing for those days either. Truth is, I'm happier now than I was then. I'm most definitely less stressed out. But there is something to be said about having someone to talk to every day when you get home (and by that I mean other than my roommate or his dog). I'm not sure if it's my lifestyle as a student, or just the nature of Vegas as a city, but I don't really meet new people very often. There are plenty of girls that are nice to look at, but there's not a lot more to them than that. They certainly aren't the kind you would consider taking home to meet the family, even if you could strike up an intelligent conversation with them (no offense to this girl in the picture, I was just going for something representative of Vegas).
It's almost enough to make a guy walk into a place and scream out the Ryan Adams lyric "Does anybody wanna take me home?" (it sounds better when he sings it). You know, just in case there are any takers. It could take my mind off things.
2 comments:
Another pertinent song lyric that comes to mind is from Jim White:
"The sad irony of love is how seldom you feel it, yet it's all you think about, night and day"
Another song lyric by My Morning Jacket that describes the Vegas scene perfectly:
"People always told me that bars are dark and lonely, and talk is often cheap and filled with air"
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