Female Friend: I'm going to be cutting back on the amount of sugar I eat.
Me (sarcastically): Why, because you're so fat?
Female Friend: Because it's just not healthy.
Me: I should cut back, but I'm not that worried about it, at least not until I end up with Adult Onset (Type II) Diabetes. I guess that's likely considering the amount of sugar I eat.
Male Friend: I don't know. I think they're saying that's all bullshit. It's not just about how much sugar you eat, it's more about having a bad diet in general. It messes with your blood chemistry.
Me: I heard once that it's about a certain ratio. You know, once you pass a certain girth for your height you become susceptible.
Female Friend: Really?
Me: I think so. I knew a guy who got scared because he knew someone else who got it, and that's what that guy's doctor said, so the guy I knew went on a diet and lost a bunch of weight.
Male Friend: It's all about the spare tire. I'm getting a good start on mine.
Me: Yeah, me too.
Female Friend: Not me. All I've got is the fuckin' female pooch. God damn uterus or some shit.
Spoken like a true lady.
3 comments:
NM is right...I think when you hit 40 inches, you are at risk (that is your stomach size, not the waist size/pants size).
I had a fasting blood sugar level of 106, which means I am borderline/pre-diabetic...I woke up this morning contemplating not eating sugar anymore...I think I might make the resolution. Better now, than later when I have full-blown Type-II diabetes. Also, potatoes have A LOT of sugar in them...they really mess with your blood sugar levels.
God bless potatoes and sugar!!
And, you can tell the female friend that it isn't the uterus. I no longer have one, and I had hidden hopes that it would make my pooch smaller..... but that didn't happen.
On a brighter note, I woke my sensitive-to-women's-feelings husband this morning. I sat on him, and he looked at me and said, "what do you weigh? 160?" The last time I weighed 160, I was hugely pregnant. What a retard. He better know the name of a nice florist!!
woAH..i M GONNA need a tutorial.
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