I'm not a real doctor but . . .

I did successfully defend my dissertation today, so that's something.

Not forever just for now

I'm taking a short break from blogging. I'm not sure how long, probably just a week or so, but I have way too much going on right now both personally and professionally, and I'm not dealing with any of it very well.

I'll let you know when I'm back.

It's time that we let the world know

A word of advice. If you're a female student who is meeting with your lab TA to go over some material that you're struggling with, you may want to put your cell phone on silent mode beforehand.

At least you should if your ring tone is My Dick by Mickey Avalon.

Cookin' up a Filipino box spring hog

Last Friday, while waiting for a seminar class to start, some friends asked me about my job search:

Friend 1: Have you applied for any jobs recently?

Me: I have, but haven't been successful with any of my applications so far.

Friend 1: The other day I saw a position advertised doing Indo-Pacific research.

Me: Yeah, I saw that too. You're talking about the one in the Philippines, right?

Friend 1: I think that's the one.

Me: I'm thinking about applying for that. It sounds like a cool research project, and I'd be teaching over there too, which would look good on my CV. I'm just not entirely sure I'd want to live abroad for the next three years.

Friend 2: You can't move to the Philippines. How are you going to do that when you've got kids?

Me (jokingly): It wouldn't be that big of a deal. My kids already know I hate them.

Friend 2: Well, if they don't, moving to the opposite end of the earth would certainly get the message across.

Me: At least I'd have a job. There aren't many being advertised here. Plus I could give my kids killer vacations when they came to visit.

Friend 2: But think about the cost of bringing them over there.

Me: Airfare would be expensive for sure, but once they were there I'd only have to feed them bananas and mangoes, so it'd balance out. Besides, if you think about it, I could live like a king on a post-doc's salary over there. Not only that, but I'd also be surrounded by Filipino girls. It'd be just like Heaven.

Friend 2: Except all the girls over there probably get married by the time they're eighteen, so you'd still be out of luck.

Me: Not if I started dating seventeen year olds.


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I happened to mention that I was thinking about applying for this position to Girl Who Won't Be My Girlfriend the other day too.

Her response?

"Oh, wow. If you got a job there I'd move with you."

My response to that?

"Shut up. You would not."

My sweet baby, I need fresh blood

Maybe* I'm twisted, but any music video that includes a beautiful woman, a creepy stalker guy, and men in luchadore masks is okay in my book.








*There's no maybe about it.

And it's hard to tell what it is and what it's not

Student: So is this quiz going to be multiple choice?

Me: No.

Student: So we have to, like, guess what the answer is?

Me: Or, you could just know the answer.

And you seem like someone who could appreciate the fact that I'm no ordinary man

Yesterday was my friend's birthday. To celebrate, he and his girlfriend rented a room at a four star resort, and reserved a cabana by the pool for the day. There are certainly worse ways to spend an afternoon. Hiding in the jungle from rival drug lords comes to mind. Luckily for us, we had no rival drug lords looking for us yesterday. A good thing too, because there are no jungles nearby in which we could've hidden.

Anyway, after spending most of the day at the pool, we went back to their room to change for dinner, had a fantastic meal, then hung out briefly in the courtyard. However, it was late, and I knew I had to be up early for work, so I went back to the room to gather up my things.

When I walked back with my bag, one of my other friends who had been a late arrival thought I'd stayed the night at the resort too.

Friend 1: Wait. Did you guys have a sleepover here last night?

Me: Well, there's only one bed in the room, and I'm not that close with [Friend] and [His Girlfriend].

Friend's Girlfriend: What are you saying? That I'm unavailable? That's just because I work so much.

Me: I was thinking more along the lines of being emotionally unavailable. You know, the whole [Friend] thing.

Friend 1: That, and I don't think you're really her type.

Me: I don't really think I'm anybody's "type", but I'm okay with that.

Friend 1: No, see, that's the wrong attitude to have. You need to be more like, "Oh, I'm her type, she just doesn't realize it yet."