I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago, and ever since I've lived a life of misery and woe

Just now I was riding the elevator with one of the professors I work with. A student came on and pushed the button for the seventh floor. The professor asked, "Why would you want to go up to seven?"

"My wife works there," the student answered.

I asked, "Why would you ever want a wife?"

He couldn't give me a valid reason.

There's a distance between me and a world that's offering its hand

In case you haven't guessed it, I'm depressed. And what do I do when I'm depressed? Besides wallow in self-pity, I mean? That's right. I put together music mixes. Here's the latest one.

Nobody's Man (click to download)
1. Weapons - The Daylights
2. Fall Into You - Gus Black
3. Wonderful (The Way I Feel) - My Morning Jacket
4. Reflections Of The Marionette - Two Gallants
5. When You Call My Name - Dawes
6. I And Love And You - The Avett Brothers
7. House Built For Two - Delta Spirit
8. Thanks For Nothing - Middle Brother
9. Rust - Telekinesis
10. Angelyne - The Jayhawks
11. Friday XIII - Deer Tick
12. Monster Ballads - Josh Ritter
13. Here's Looking At You, Kid - The Gaslight Anthem

I'd be curious to hear whether or not you like it.

When it hits me that she's gone

Middle Brother - Million Dollar Bill

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll run for President
Get my face put on the million dollar bill
So when these rich men that she wants
Show her ways they can take care of her
I'll have found a way to be there with her still

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll be an astronaut
Make the moon my home and leave this world behind
So when she steps out into the night
To find some light that makes her pretty
She'll be facing me every time she shines

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

When it hits me that she's left me alone
When I finally move on with my life
Her goodbye written into stone
And her shadow grown into a night

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll be a movie star
Play the finest man the world has ever seen
So when the lovers that she's found
Show her ways they learned to talk to her
Behind each perfect word will be a little bit of me

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

I'm big in Japan

Don't ask me how we got on this topic, because I surely don't remember, but a little while ago my friend and I were talking about license plate frames we could make specifically for Japanese Americans.

- I'd rather be watching anime

- I'd rather be eating sushi

- I'd rather be catching Pokemon

- I'd rather be practicing Kenpo

- I'd rather be with my geisha

Good enough for now

Me: That kid was kind of being a little bitch.

Brother: I know. HIs older brother is the same way. He was here tonight too.

Me: Was that the guy with the five o'clock shadow?

Brother: It was a full beard, but yeah.

Me: Oh. I guess I didn't really pay that much attention to him. I spent more time checking out his girl.

Brother: She wasn't that cute.

Me: I know. But she was here.