I think I'm paranoid and complicated, I think I'm paranoid, manipulated

Lately one of my co-workers has been asking me where he can find my blog. I've been hesitant to tell him, not because I don't want him to read, but because I've been afraid that he'd give the address to other people who I'd prefer not to read this. So, I usually just tell him that it's not too hard to find if you know where to look.

Apparently he's serious about finding it. He told me yesterday that he's been Googling a lot of different things, but his searches have been fruitless. That's probably because he's been searching for things associated with my real name. Yesterday afternoon I finally caved when one of his office mates said that he knew someone at his old university who read it, so he could just get the address from him and pass it around. I told them both they could find it by Googling "Native Minnow" so the first guy did.

I was curious to see what his reaction would be, but he had to finish up something else before he could read it, so I went back to my office.

A little while later he yelled his response across the hall:

Him: You're pretty fucking funny.
Me: I'm glad you think so.
Him: Why aren't you this funny in real life?
Me: Maybe you just don't hang out with me enough.

He's not the first person to tell me that. Another co-worker's wife found me a few months ago and said the same thing, and she got the same answer from me. Maybe it's time to direct you to the 'About Me' section and remind you all that I'm the funniest person I know, and don't any of you motherfuckers forget it.

Foolin' myself into thinkin' I was livin'

Friend 1: [Minnow], if you changed your last name to Belafonte you'd get laid a lot more.

Friend 2: Or at all.

Touché!

I hope they cannot see I am the great destroyer

I have a student in one of my labs who has a pretty good sense of humor. He's very random, and is always writing extra things on his quizzes that make me laugh. The running theme for the semester is that he gives himself a "new" middle name on every quiz that he turns in.

Here are some examples of what he's come up with:
- Rockstar
- Infectious Mononucleosis
- Dodgeball
- Calvin Klein
- Forgot the answer to number 4
- Jetpack Sausages
- Hardcore to the Maximum Extreme
- Rescue Ranger
- Hello Kitty

After a few weeks, I decided start making up new middle names for myself for each quiz that I returned to him.

Here are some that I've given myself:
- Papa Smurf
- Supersonic Overdrive
- Big and Important
- I write with pink pen
- My Little Pony
- Blitzkrieg Raider
- Don't you know who I am?
- El Bandito
- I hate riding unicorns*

Maybe I can work one of those into my new alias if/when I ever come up with one.



*I really do hate riding unicorns. They make me chafe. Even moreso than riding Pegasus does.

They call me Mr. Tinkertrain

The first quiz I give every semester includes the question "What is your TA's name?" Maybe it's an ego thing, but I get annoyed when we're two months into a semester and there are still students who don't know my name. Seriously, it's one name to remember. Is it really that difficult?

I don't expect all of my students to get it right after one week, and I give them the point even if they miss it, but asking them usually gets the point across that I expect them to know who I am. Not only does it satisfy my ego, but they also have to write my name on their exams so the professors know who to give their exams to when it's time to hand them back.

Anyway, it can be humorous to see what the people who don't remember my name will write down for an answer. This week, one of them put something that I like a lot. In fact, I think I may have found a new moniker, or at least an alias if I ever resort to a life of crime.

The name? Keil Holliday!