They're bouncy trouncy flouncy pouncy fun fun fun fun fun

You'll all be happy to know that Mr. Teddy Bear has been resurrected from the dead.



It seems that someone who knows how to carve a pumpkin better than I do couldn't "bear" the thought of him being tossed out.

I will now go slam my head in the car door for typing that last sentence.

Karma police arrest this man

Somebody commented the other day that it sounds like I was asking for a visit from Karma. You'll be happy to know that I have had such a visit.

I have always considered myself to be a skinny person. After all, I'm 6' 4" and weigh about 195 pounds. In fact, most people I know say that I'm too skinny. I have friend who is in the same boat as me. We are the same height, but he's always weighed about 10-15 pounds less than I have, at least for as long as I've known him.

We were talking on the phone the other day and he told me that he has finally broken the 200 pound mark, I think he said he's up to 205 right now. There was something about these clear drops and new cream he got from some guy in San Fransisco (ok, I made that up). Anyway, this is the first time that he's actually outweighed me, so I took the opportunity to call him 'Fat Ass.' Wouldn't you know it, a couple days later I sat down to spike my morning dookie and ended up cracking the toilet seat.

The surprising thing is that toilet seats are nowhere near as expensive as I thought they would be. I got one of the best ones they had at the hardware store for half as much as I thought I'd be paying for one that was bottom of the line. Now, if I would just take the time to install it, life would be good in the House of Minnow.

But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game

Let me tell you a story that will immediately prompt you to start praying for my soul. It happened quite some time ago, but I forgot about it until the other day when a friend of mine brought it up.

The two of us were walking when we got cut off by a guy in a wheelchair. When it happened, I leaned over to my friend and muttered "Do you mind? I'm trying to walk here."

It was another one of those moments when my friend (who is agnostic) was afraid to walk next to me for fear of being struck by lightening. I'm pretty sure I'm going to Hell, but you have to admit, that is funny.