This will turn into something else, something else, and when it does I'll be somewhere else, somewhere else

I've mentioned before about how I get stage fright when it comes time to pee in a crowded public bathroom. I'm fine as long as I can start my stream before anyone stands next to me, but if someone's standing there before I start, forget about it.

Last night I went with a friend to watch the Men's NCAA championship game. Around halftime, I needed to use the restroom. I walked in, and to my relief, there was nobody else around. So, I unzipped and began to pee. Within about five seconds of this happening, the entire bathroom filled with men. I'm not even exaggerating in the slightest. Luckily I'd already started, so it wasn't an issue. Otherwise, I never would've been able to relieve my bladder.

The bathroom was so full, that somebody walked in and shouted, "Wow, it's a cock party in here."

That's one type of party I hope to never have to experience again.

Happy hours, golden showers

Yesterday the power went out and our side of campus was affected. Luckily, the back up generator kicked on and all the necessary equipment was still powered, as were the emergency lights in the halls. However, it was still quite dark. As I walked through a dimly lit hallway, one of the post-docs saw me and asked, "What did you do?"

"I flexed."

As luck would have it, I really needed to pee, but apparently bathrooms are not considered to be emergency areas. It was pitch black with a sign on the door saying the bathroom was out of order. I ignored the sign and went in anyway. The door was propped open, so a little bit of light came in from the hallway, which was nice, but presented me with a problem. Should I pee in a urinal I could see, knowing full well that anyone could see me from the hallway? Or should I pee in a urinal I couldn't see, knowing that I'd be safely out of view, but would also be running the risk of missing the urinal?

I suppose now would be an appropriate (?) time to let you in on a little secret. I have stage fright. I'm unable to pee if there is someone standing near me. I don't know why this is, but I blame one of my brother's old college roommates (the red-headed guy in this story). I figured my stage fright might manifest itself in this situation, knowing the door behind me was open might prevent me from accomplishing the task at hand, so I opted for peeing in the dark.

You'll be happy to know that I emerged from the darkened bathroom with dry feet.