Bathroom Etiquette

I don't know what the deal is with people and bathrooms lately, but we need to set some ground rules here. I already told you about the redneck who took a swing at my friend while he was standing at the urinal. Last night I had another strange experience, but first let me tell you a little story.

A few years ago while I was working on my bachelor's degree I was using the restroom in the student center when out of nowhere this red-headed guy came up alongside me, looked over at me and said "you're Howie's brother aren't you." You see, I had gone over to my brother's house the week before for some sort of gathering (I don't remember the occasion), and this was the first time I had met some of his roommates, one of which was this red-headed guy who apparently had no social skills (an understatement if there ever was one I later found out). Now normally I wouldn't mind someone recognizing me and coming up to say hi, but not while I'm peeing. That's just wierd.

So back to last night. I was traveling to Vegas after dropping my kids off at their mom's house in Salt Lake after the holiday weekend. I got to the halfway point, which is a town called Beaver, and just so happens to be the town that I lived in from the time I was 6 until a month before my 17th birthday. Normally I don't like to stop there because I know a lot of people, but never have the time to stop and pay them all visits. In order to avoid hurting anyone's feelings if they happen to find out that I stopped in town, just not to see them, I prefer not to stop and see anyone. But this particular time, my bladder was not going to hold up until I could get to the next rest stop so I really had no choice. I exited the freeway and pulled into the Wendy's. I went inside and had to take care of first things first and went into the bathroom. I stepped up to the urinal and began to take care of business and noticed out of the corner of my eye that the person next to me kept looking over at me. I could tell that he was an employee by the color of his shirt, but I was bound and determined not to make eye contact while I was peeing. He finished a while before I did (like I said, I really needed to go), went and washed his hands, and began cleaning up the sink area of the bathroom. It seemed to me that he was just looking for things to do so that he could wait for me to finish. I know that sounds paranoid, but that's exactly what happened. I finished and turned around to wash my hands and heard "Well I'll be darned if it isn't [Native Minnow]!" Finally I looked at his face and saw that it was the father of one of my close friends from high school. I said hi, and we sat and talked for a few minutes. You know, the normal stuff like where I was living now, the fact that I was now divorced and had 3 kids, what his daughter was up to, etc.

I guess of the three bathroom experiences mentioned here, this was the most tolerable, but still, couldn't it have waited until I stepped out into the hall? To all of you people who know me but haven't seen me for a while, if you ever see me standing at a urinal, give me some space and allow me to finish, wait outside to say hi, and most of all do not take a swing at me.

There, now I feel better.