Last weekend, on the night I ended up not going home, one of my friends kept trying to get me and a few of my other friends to go over and hit on some girls that were sitting at a table across the room from us.
Her: "Why don't you guys go over there and talk to those girls?"
Me: "Because there aren't any girls over there that I'd want anything to do with."
Her: "What's wrong with them?"
Me: "Nothing, it's just that none of them are hot."
Her: "What's your definition of hot?"
Me: "I'll let you know if I see it."
I wasn't the only one with this opinion. None of my other friends wanted anything to do with them either. There was one guy I work with (I'm hesitant to call him a friend) who figured it must just be that we were too shy, so when one of the girls walked by us on her way to the bathroom he started hatching a master plan for us.
Him: "I'm going to introduce myself to this girl when she comes back out of the restroom. How would you like me to introduce you guys to her? "
One friend: "Tell her that we're all hung like horses."
When she came back out he did as he said. He stopped her, introduced himself, then introduced us:
"These guys are all graduate students. They're really nice guys, they're intelligent, funny, and they're all hung like horses."
Let's just say that sometimes things that are meant to scare people away don't quite do the trick. This girl ended up sticking around and talking with us until the time when I left to go to my friend's house. At one point she left to go grab a drink, and the guy who had introduced himself to her told us that we were making him look bad because we weren't wooing her with all our best stories.
My friend: "Maybe that's because a) none of us were interested in this girl or her friends, and b) we didn't want you to bring her over here and introduce us in the first place."
My question is, how come this kind of thing would never work on a hot girl?
5 comments:
Because hot girls aren't as cool. Well, in your opinion of cool, anyway. Geez, haven't you learned your lesson already? :o
For the record, there are many things other than looks that can make a girl hot, but none of those will be apparent to me from across the room. Since attraction tends to play a crucial role when it comes to relationships of the non-platonic variety then I guess you could say I haven't learned my lesson already. This isn't to say that I would never go out with a girl who was not attractive, because I would if she was super cool. The main thing is, I'm interested in the entire package (good looking, smart, funny, cool to be around, and rich wouldn't hurt). The thing is, I'm not likely to meet a girl like that in a crowded place where there's not much time to talk. Most of them are already spoken for anyway. And by the way, this girl ended up not being very funny, and it wasn't all that cool sitting there talking to her so she had two strikes against her. She may have still been smart and rich, I don't know, we didn't get that far.
It sucks being a horse who is hung like a human.
It sucks being a fish where no one can see the size of your testicles
Fish, just so you know, you don't actually have testicles, just internal testes. Big difference.
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