My roommate told me a few weeks ago that his ex-wife was going to be coming into town so that she could visit their son for a couple of weeks. He wanted to make sure that it was ok with me before he told her she could because she's going to be staying at the house (he's going to go stay with some friends, he just didn't want to make her pay for a hotel room for two weeks).
He said that it would be toward the end of October, but that was the last I heard about it. The other night I asked his son if his mom was still coming to visit.
Me: Is your mom still coming? Your dad said it would be the end of the month, and it's the end of the month now, so I was just wondering.
Him: Yeah, but I don't know when. She's supposed to call and let me know.
Me: Good. I can't wait to put the moves on her.
Him: You're an asshole.
Me: You can't talk to me like that, I could be your new step dad.
A little while later I was getting my dinner out of the microwave (Wolfgang Puck's clam chowder - mmmmm) and decided to keep it going:
Me: Seriously, is your mom hot?
Him: Arrrgh. I don't know. She's pretty, but she's my mom.
Me: Good. She's pretty. That's all I need to know. She already has a kid so I know she puts out.
Him: You asshole. You know she's going through a divorce.
Me: I know. That's why she's going to need someone who can take her mind off things.
Him: . . .
Then, last night, we were watching t.v. and a commercial for Bailey's Irish Creme came on.
Me: I can't wait until your mom gets here and I can get her drunk.
Him (trying to get back at me): I can't wait until your daughter comes next time, so I can try and get her drunk.
Me: She's only twelve, so that makes you a pedophile. I guess it's true what they say about you after all.
Sometimes it can be so fun to be a jerk.
6 comments:
And yes, I told his dad about all this and he started laughing his head off.
Seeing as I know your roommates son, I feel I should point out (for anyone who may feel bad) that he is a total jerk and everything you can do to get under his skin makes me so proud!!
S
You are so going to fall in love with me during those few weeks we'll be living together.
I am bringing some Horchata spiked with vodka to get in YOUR pants...
oh. that's wronger than wrong on so many levels.
so wait, are you two coming? or just you?
Hot Madrecita, I don't think you'll need any vodka, I think the horchata ought to be good enough to do the trick, or even just water.
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