Thursday, May 08, 2008

Are you dead or are you sleeping? God I sure hope you are dead.

I recently found out that one of the couples I know is going to be moving to Chicago this summer. I haven't talked to the guy for a long time, so I emailed him to suggest we hang out before they leave.

Me: We should do something once you guys are both done with finals. Definitely before you move. What else have you been up to lately?

Him: We should definitely have a game night once finals are over. Other than that, I've been playing Grand Theft Auto a lot, so I've been killing a lot more hookers than usual.


I'm not sure how many hookers he usually kills, but I'm going to tell him to make sure not to store all the bodies in the same place. One dead hooker in the closet is fine, but any more than that, and the stink is going to upset his girlfriend.

4 comments:

Bill From Gainesville said...

Thats just fine advice. You should never put to many dead bodies in the same place, its just poor dead body management if you ask me

silentkid said...

The best place to store a dead hooker's body is in the freezer in the garage. Put her at the bottom and stack some frozen pizzas and Hot Pockets and stuff on top of her. No one will be the wiser.

Native Minnow said...

Bill, and if there's one thing I believe in strongly, it's good dead body management.

Silentkid, mmmmmm, hot pockets.

deputymomof6 said...

What about the Body Farm? Have the locals not opened that up yet? I toured it before they were finished with it. They will never know if you just throw an extra one in there.