Driving across the Great Plains gets a little boring. Not only is the landscape the same, but there's not even much to look at in terms of girls riding in vehicles that you pass.
After several hours of driving on the way to Minneapolis, my friend said, "That girl was pretty cute."
So I did what any red blooded American male would do: I looked in the rear view mirror. I just shook my head.
Friend: What? You don't think she's cute?
Me: Not at all.
Friend: Really?
Me: Really! You have to remember, this isn't Vegas. We're in the mid-west. There aren't any cute girls here. I think you were looking at her through mid-west goggles.
Friend: Mid-west goggles?
Me: You know. Like beer goggles. Except you're not drinking. I'm just looking out for you man. I'd hate to see you end up with an ugly chick who's only slightly less ugly than all the other chicks out here.
A little while later, we passed another girl.
Me: Was she cute?
Friend: Well, I thought so. But now you've got me second guessing everything.
Me: It's for the best. That way you're careful to make sure you're not getting into something you're going to regret.
Mid-west goggles: Not quite the same as PoonocularsTM. You need to be aware of their existence. Especially if you'll be driving through that part of the U.S.
6 comments:
Ha ha ha!! Amazing what a bit of deprivation can do...
I have sexual embargo goggles, when the wife imposes sanctions of the lower regions, nearly every woman with her own hair and teeth becomes attractive...
well, in your defense, it IS a long trip.
When I used to be out on the road more we called it "tour hot". Not to be confused with actual hotness.
Band guy 1 : Is she hot?
Band guy 2 : She's "tour hot".
Band guy 1 : So would you?
Band guy 2 : Yes!
As tours drag on the "tour hot" standard gets lower and lower.
It's the weather, I think. You can't tell that they're piglets 10 months out of the year cause of all the layers of clothes.
Is this some ploy to get a bunch of midwest hotties to send you hot photos of themselves partially or totally nude to prove that there are hotties in the midwest?
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