In the cabin last weekend:
Guy 1: You're really not a very good Jew, are you?
Guy 2: I'm not a Jew.
Guy 1: As I understand Judaism, if your mother is a Jew, that makes you a Jew.
Guy 2: One of my moms is a Jew. My mom's lesbian lover is a Jew. I don't carry her mitochondrial DNA, so I'm not Jewish.
They came to me for a decision. You know, because I am so very wise. Much like King Solomon.
Me: Are they married?
Guy 2: Yes. In the state of California.
Me: Do you call her Mom?
Guy 2: Yes.
Me: You're a Jew.
Guy 2: But I don't know the kosher way to kill a sheep. And I've never stood at the Weeping Wall.
Guy 1: It's the Wailing Wall, you jackass. You're a bad Jew.
12 comments:
Did this conversation happen as you were all in the sauna, right before the three way, or after?
jew cant be serious......
hehehe.
this reminds me of all the families of my kids that i am dealing with now -- a billion step-parents and partners and all that and it gets very confusing for everyone!
If I ever get to Vegas I want to hang with you and your friends. I realise having an old biddy around might ruin your street cred but I can be cool.
I think the mitochondrial DNA argument is pretty legit...can you be an adopted Jew?
DNA has nothing to do with this. He is being raised around Jewish customes, he is a Jew. I bet he doesn't get anything for Christmas!! (At least from his moms.)
jeez, if I could be a jew that easily, I would.
i had sex with a jew. she was so hot.
Ask him if he knows what a Moel does. If he shudders, he's a jew.
You should start making people refer to you as King Solomon and let you make all kinds of tough judgement calls. Excellent decision.
...a real American Hebrew.
Change your blog name to King Solo-minnow
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