This weekend I had dinner with Girl Who Won't Be My Girlfriend*. Afterward we were driving around and I mentioned that I should have cleaned my car before picking her up. I recently washed the exterior, mainly because one of my friends drew a huge cock-n-balls on the trunk when he walked past my car in the parking lot on campus and saw how dirty it was, but I haven't cleaned and vacuumed the interior in months.
Here's a brief description so you can visualize: There are several plastic and glass bottles on the floor in the back from my most recent road trip. I throw them back there while I'm driving so that I can recycle them when I get back home, but I keep forgetting they're there, so haven't taken them out yet. There are various cards and envelopes that friends gave me when I defended my dissertation (over two weeks ago!). There's a ziplock bag containing a few slices of banana bread - my mom gave me some last week, but I didn't eat all of it (sorry Mom - I know there are starving children in Africa who would have loved to have eaten that banana bread, but I forgot it was there until it was too scary to try - it hurts me too). A biology book sits atop numerous hand-outs and worksheets that I'll be handing out to my students eventually. A pair of basketball shorts that I'd removed from my gym bag in the trunk to go hot-tubbing in, washed afterward, and then put in the back seat because I was too lazy to open the trunk and actually stick them back in the gym bag where they belong. Mr M left fingerprints all over the rear and side windows. You get the point. I drive in squalor.
Her: I left a mark on your window the other day.
Me: You did? Where? This fingerprint on the driver's side?
Her: It wasn't just a fingerprint, I drew something.
Me: Well, I don't see it on here now. What did you draw?
Her: I drew a heart. I wanted to see if you'd notice it like you noticed that dick on your trunk.
I didn't notice the heart, but I did notice the dick. What does that say about me?
Wait, don't answer that.
*Yes, we're hanging out with each other again.
12 comments:
sounds like my car - I finally couldn't stand it anymore and got it washed the other day (then I had a nightmare last night that I lifted up the floor mat and it was all still gross and dirty LOL)
Sorry girl that won't be your girlfriend- a cock & balls is far more tangible than a measly little heart.
oh my, you need to clean your car. immediately. maybe you couldn't see the heart through the other stuff in the car?
just kidding.
not really. :)
Whatever. It wasn't that bad. I saw it like a week ago.
I TOLD you that you could empty all of your recyclables into the recyling bin in the garage, but oh no! Someone's all attached to it or something.
Hey, it says something if she didn't hold your messy car against you. Seems promising. :)
I wouldn't dwell too deeply on the subject - it was probably just the placement as you go into your trunk fairly often so you would have noticed the heart there, but instead, there was a penis. It's all about location, location, location . . .
If her name is "Girl Who Won't Be My Girlfriend", didn't that kind of clue you in NOT to buy her dinner ?!?
Lol that cracks me up that's too funny!!! My boyfriend got sick of my car, cause it was filthy, and he detailed it for me :D I love being a girl
just read this...... OK then.
At least your car doesn't smell like farts...or does it?
No matter how hard I try to do better my car is always a mess too but I blame the kids. Maccas rubbish, drink bottles, sweaty dance gear, school work...none of that crap belongs to me.
I would hope you would notice a dick on your trunk.
:)
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