Ocean Man

When I was an undergraduate I worked part time in the fishing department of a sporting goods store. It was a relatively easy job, and it allowed me to justify flyfishing a couple times a week rather easily (as if I really needed much of an excuse to put off studying if there wasn't an exam looming in the immediate future), so even though the pay wasn't all that great, I enjoyed it immensely.

When you work at a place like that, everyone that walks through the door assumes that you are an expert* on everything the store has in stock. I learned how to flyfish 15 years ago, but I'd hardly call myself a flyfishing expert, let alone an expert in all types of fishing. However, in such a situation you hear enough from co-workers, customers and sales representatives that you do get an idea of what the quality products are, and which ones are junk. It was only because of this that I felt comfortable talking to people about what products to buy.

One day a woman and her son came in to see about purchasing a new reel for him. The son was in his 30s, and had an obvious mental handicap. The woman explained to me that her son really liked to go fishing, and she needed to buy him a new reel because his old one had broken. She went on to say that she didn't want to buy something cheap because he would break it very quickly if she did, but also that she didn't want to spend a lot of money because no matter what she bought, he would probably end up breaking it anyway.

I showed her a couple of reels that people seemed to be really happy with, and as I was explaining the differences to her, her son kept bouncing up and down in the background yelling, "I BROKE MY 'NUTHER ONE!"

I continued on and was somehow able to keep a straight face until she left with her son and his new reel. Forget moving out on my own, forget my divorce, forget moving 350 miles away from my kids, not bursting out into laughter on that day is the hardest thing I've ever done.



*I, on the other hand, correctly assume that most salesmen are not experts. After all, a true expert would be making a LOT more money doing something other than working in a retail store for little more than minimum wage. No, salesmen are only interested in making a sale, and are going to tell you whatever you want to hear in order to make that happen.

I swear I'm gonna bite you hard and taste your tinny blood

Lately the subject of my first job has been coming up in conversation. Most recently it was because my roommate's son was talking about how his summer job (also his first) didn't really pay that much because he only got $2000 for a month's worth of work. Now, maybe it's because I'm getting old, but that seems like it's a lot of money for a 15 year old to make. In fact, I know people with families to support that barely make that much in a month, so I told him he shouldn't be complaining and he should just be grateful that his dad had arranged for him to work such a good job (it was doing lab work on campus, which is much better than flipping burgers).

I know that things have changed in the financial world since I was a kid, but I believe I had to work for a couple of hours after school for almost an entire year in order to make $2000. Not only that, but my job was to clean up a meat packing plant after the day's slaughter. Sound like fun? Didn't think so. Looking back it was hardly worth whatever I was making, but it was a job and it put some money in my pocket, so I was glad to have it.

One of the drawbacks of my first job (aside from the fact that I was cleaning a freaking meat packing plant) was that it ruined cherry pie for me for quite some time, the reason being that when they would kill a cow they would have to let it bleed out, and the floor would be covered in what looked just like cherry pie filling, except it wasn't. Not only did it look disgusting, but it smelled disgusting. For any of you who have never smelled death (and I know you're out there from previous comments), there's a very thick metallic smell that comes along with large volumes of blood. This smell had seared itself into my brain, and every time I'd see cherry pie, the smell would come back and haunt me, at least for a while. As with all things, when you see something often enough, you become desensitized to it, and I got back to where I could enjoy all my desserts once again. Whew!

So I know what you're all thinking. You can't believe that I would slaughter an innocent little cow, just so I could take a picture of it's coagulated blood for my blog post. Don't worry. I made it into a nice tasty blood cobbler.

(Ok, fine, it's really just cherries after all)

Not just me

I went to a seminar that covered the essentials of searching for a job in academia. I'm nowhere near graduation yet, but they were covering some things that I've often wondered about, such as things to consider before applying, tips on landing an interview, etc. The main one I was interested in was how to negotiate a better contract once an offer is on the table.

I went to it with a friend, and we were the youngest ones in the room (for a change).

When we went to sit down I didn't notice that there was a slight dip in the floor so I stumbled. One woman came in and sat right in front of us, and did the same thing. Then another one. She looked at the first woman and said "Oh Jesus! There's a step right there." The first woman replied "If you don't know it, you could break a leg."

Immediately after that a really old lady came into the room. My friend leaned over, nodded and said "Oh, she's goin' down."

Darwin Day

Charles Darwin was born on this day in 1809. His birthday is celebrated in circles where his discoveries still have a heavy influence on research (but most of you already know this). Sometimes I wonder how guys like him did it. If you've ever read The Voyage of the Beagle (or any of his books really) you have an appreciation for the breadth of Darwin's knowledge. The man was an expert on many things.

I've been studying biology almost half my life, yet I still don't feel like I have what it takes to become an expert. I know there are those who will disagree with that, but I think that is part of what drives me. I'm afraid of looking like an idiot, so I try to learn more in order to prevent my peers from thinking that. Is that healthy? Not really.

I once heard that in order to be a leader of this field you have to be willing (and able) to put in 120 hours a week. This was from E. O. Wilson who most certainly understands what it takes to succeed. The man is one of the greatest thinkers of our time, and when I met him at a meeting a little over a year ago, he spoke about having 5 books at some stage of publishing within a single year. I have my name on three publications so far (once my latest one comes out that is), with a fourth being prepared for submission. However, I have yet to successfully apply for a grant larger than $750. Do I ever expect to get to such a high level in my career? No. But I would like to get to where I'm competetive enough to actually get a job, and be successful enough to get tenure once I do.