While we're on the subject can we change the subject now?

I didn't want the women who are complete idiots to feel left out by not getting dating advice, so I've compiled a list of things not to do when you're with a man.

Native Minnow's Dating Advice (Part Deux)
When you're with a man you should never . . .
. . . play with your boobs.
. . . play with the obese man on the train's* boobs.
. . . wax your ass.
. . . remove stains from your unmentionables.
. . . pumice your callouses.
. . . get liposuction.
. . . watch porn of your ex-boyfriend.
. . . punch your baby.
. . . talk about the restraining order you had to get for your ex.
. . . brandish a knife.
. . . cut on yourself.
. . . attempt to murder someone.
. . . consume afterbirth.
. . . insert yogurt filled tampons to get rid of your yeast infection.
. . . freeze off your genital warts.
. . . whip your dick out.



*Or on the bus.

No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie

Last week I used a lyric from the song Thrash Unreal by Against Me!. Since then, I've received a gazillion hits (yes, I counted) from people who are looking for song lyrics. Obviously, those people got hosed as my post was about giving rides to weird trailer trash girls who were walking home from threesomes, and not about the lyrics to the song. Anyway, here's my attempt to make that up to those gazillion people.

Here are the lyrics to the song followed by the video (you might want to play it as you read along so you can see if I've got it right):

If she wants to dance and drink all night
Well there's no-one that can stop her
She's going 'til the house lights come up
Or her stomach spills onto the floor

This night is gonna' end
When we're damn well ready for it be over
What's all week long
Now the music is playing on our time
Yeah we do what we do to get by
And then we need a release

Ba ba ba ba ba ba da da da
Ba ba ba ba ba ba da da da
Ba ba ba ba ba ba da da da
Ba ba ba ba ba ba da da da

You're getting mixed up with the wrong guys
You're getting messed up on the wrong drugs
Sometimes the party takes you places that you didn't really plan on goin'
When people see the track marks on her arm
She knows what they're thinking
She keeps on working for that minimum
As if your high school education gave you any other options
You know, they don't know nothing about redemption
They don't know nothing about recovery
Some people just aren't the type for marriage and family

No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to sleep alone
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to sleep alone

She's out of step with the style
She don't know where the action's happening
You know the downtown club scene ain't nothing like it used to be
You reach a point where there's not a lie in the world
That you could use to make the boys believe you're still in your twenties (?)
They keep getting younger don't they baby
She's not waiting for someone to come over and ask for the privilege
She can still hear the rebel yell just as loud as it was in 1983
You know there ain't no Johnny coming home to share a bed with her
And she doesn't care

No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to sleep alone
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to sleep alone
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie

And if she had to live it all over again
You know she wouldn't change anything for the world