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If you're looking for the lyrics to Thrash Unreal, click here.
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About a month ago somebody made the comment that I've lived in Vegas too long (sure I was talking about how to dispose of a body, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything). While it may be true that I've lived here too long, weird stuff also happened to me before I moved here. I've told you about the time I picked up The Hungarian, but he wasn't the first stranger I'd ever given a ride, and it was only slightly more uncomfortable than the first time.
It was shortly after my ex-wife and I had separated, and I went on a weekend flyfishing trip to the Green River to try and get my mind off things. It was early in the spring (my favorite time to fish the river), and I was on my way home. About a 100 miles from home I passed a truck with its hazard lights blinking. Since it was in the middle of nowhere, and it was getting dark, I looked around to see if I could help, but didn't see anyone. I kept driving, it got dark and started snowing. About 20 miles down the road, as I was coming up on a small town, I passed a shadow on the side of the road. Figuring that this was the driver of the broken down vehicle, I stopped and a woman got in the car.
Her: Thank you so much!
Me: Don't mention it. Is that your truck back there?
Her: No.
Me: No? Then what are you doing out in this?
Her: Oh, I'm coming from that trailer park over there.
Me (noticing the trailer park for the first time): Oh. Do you live there?
Her: No. I just came from having a threesome with a girl from work and her husband.
Me: Um, really?
Her: Yeah. She's been wanting to fuck me for a long time. So, I finally agreed to do a threesome with her and her husband, and then she goes and gets all pissed off and starts fighting with him afterward.
Me: . . .
Her: The original plan was for him to pick me up and then take me home afterward, but after they started fighting I just left.
Me: Ok, so where do I need to take you.
Her: I just live on the other side of town.
Me: I'll take you home so you don't have to walk in this.
Her: Thanks.
Me: No problem.
Uncomfortable silence
Her: So, do you party?
Me: No.
Her: You don't drink, or do any drugs?
Me: Nope. I'm a good boy.
Her: Wow. So there are still a few of those left in the world.
Me: Yup.
This was about the time that we started getting close to her place, so the conversation stopped so she could give me directions. I dropped her off. She tried to get me to come in for a drink, but I declined. She may as well have been asking me, "So, which STD would you like to contract tonight?"
My only question is, how come the girls in stories like this are never attractive? If she had been, the ending may have been a little bit different.
9 comments:
LMAO! Yeah that's usually the way it goes. It was like STD roulette.
I would say that only in movies only the hot chicks have threesomes. But.....
I don't have to wear a pork chop around my neck to get the dogs to play with me either.
But this was a long time ago.
BTW I knew you were an old FP reader. Personally I think he was funnier before the ball and chain. He still has his moments but he's been easy pickings for me lately. Not that I pry on innocent people mind you. :)
See you at AB's.
That sounds like the beginning of a Jerry Springer episode, but I think living in Vegas is excellent for providing good stories like that one.
As for the good-looking question, it's always the paradox of nude beaches: the people you want to see naked don't go there and the one's who do you'd rather they cover themselves up. Selah.
Until you spilled the beans at the end I was thinking, "Yeah weird, but was she hot?".
I mean, even slutty hot would've worked.
Oh, and a note from the Dr. confirming her health.
yeah
So it was a real double bagger eh? Ok this is why you need to have 2 paper bags handy at all times. When the offender is ass ugly, you put 2 papers bags on it's head. Just in case the first one falls off.
Dude, I think you embellished a little. Nothing like that happens outside of porn...
No embellishment. Just a strange situation. I wouldn't have even stopped if 1) there hadn't been a truck broken down, 2) it wasn't dark and 3) snowing.
Besides, if I were going to embellish, don't you think I would have at least said she was good looking?
I remember when this happened....I told him he was lucky she didn't accuse him of rape or something messed up like that...Dr. Psycho
You're too smart to embellish and also say she was good looking ;)
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