It's okay to eat fish 'cause they don't have any feelings

I went out with a friend for all you can eat sushi the other night. Normally he orders everything, but this time he handed me the pencil and menu and told me to do it since I was "all grown up" now. I marked down the rolls that I knew we both like, but then started reading the descriptions for the chef's specials. I read a couple that sounded good to me, and my friend agreed.

Friend: Yeah, those sound good, order one of each of those.

Me: I don't see them on the list.

Friend: Oh, they're not on there. You have to write the specials down at the bottom of the sheet.

Me: Ah, I see. But I have to say, I feel a little dirty ordering a 'man whore' followed by a 'wet dream.'

Friend: Why? Because it's a Thursday night, and you typically only go for that stuff on Fridays?

All I want is to be a happy man

While at a sushi restaurant the other night, I realized that there are things I'm going to miss when I move away from Vegas. Luckily, my friend had his camera phone out, so I made* him sneak a few pictures. Here they are. See if you can guess what things I'll miss the most. I'll give you a hint: It won't be the menus, or the table.









*Because I'm creepy like that**.

**But also so I could share with you.

But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

It's time for me to reconsider my stance on sushi. I've always sworn I couldn't stand to eat the stuff. I gave sushi a chance, but when I still didn't like it after my third attempt at eating it, I figured it was because it really was gross. Ever since then, I've just been sticking with California and/or veggie rolls when I go with friends to a sushi place.

Several of my friends have been telling me for quite some time that the reason I don't like sushi is because I've never had good sushi, but I've remained skeptical. Until last Saturday. I told one of my friends that I'd go with him for an all you can eat sushi lunch. I figured I could try some of the "good" sushi, and if I still didn't like it, could fill up on stuff I knew I could handle. I told him to order two of what he'd normally get and I'd try it. If I didn't like it, he could finish it off. That turned out not to be a problem. I liked pretty much everything.

My friend asked me what I thought, so I told him.

"This lunch has made me reconsider my stance on sushi. It was pretty good. I guess you guys were right in saying that I didn't like it because I'd never tried good sushi. But, the first time I ever ate a salmon roll, it was all I could do to get it down without throwing up. I was determined to do it, but I was gagging the entire time."

He replied, "Well, it's a lot like the first time you sucked a dick. But then you got used to it after a while, and now you're making some money."