In celebration of my 550th post I've decided to list 55 random things about me. Why 55? Because I can't think of 550. Why do this for my 550th post? I've been meaning to do it for a while (starting with my 300th post, then my 400th, then my 500th, but I never paid close enough attention to where I was at until I passed those "milestones").
Honestly, this might be my 551st post, but I'm too lazy to count up all my saved drafts and subtract them from my total to find out exactly where I stand. That's right, I said saved drafts. That means that some of this mindless drivel has actually been thought about for more than twenty seconds. Hard to believe, I know.
And now, on to the list:
1. I was born on the highway
2. In the back seat of a car
3. My grandmother's car
4. I was delivered by my father
5. Under a streetlight along an on-ramp outside of Parowan, UT
6. The third streetlight to be exact
7. There's no monument there
8. Yet
9. The first thing I tasted when I came into this world was the grime on my dad's finger when he had to reach down my throat and pull something out in order for me to breathe
10. I've been trying to get the taste out ever since so I eat a lot of sweets
11. I prefer to eat cake in a bowl with milk poured over the top
12. My life pretty much revolves around fish
13. I study fish
14. I like to fish
15. But I only like to flyfish
16. Any other kind of fishing is too boring for me
17. I don't like to eat fish
18. Especially not sushi
19. I enjoy driving
20. But not when I'm hitting deer
21. I've hit five deer
22. I only killed two of them
23. One of those was a spotted fawn
24. After running over it, I dragged its body to the side of the road
25. My dad saw it there later, and correctly assumed that it was my doing
26. That was when I lived in the mountains
27. Everyone hit deer there
28. I've lived in Vegas nearly five years.
29. I still can't get used to seeing slot machines in gas stations
30. Or in grocery stores
31. Or seeing transvestites playing them at 3 a.m.
32. I cut my nails with the scissors on my Swiss Army knife key chain
33. When I don't trim my nails, I end up biting them
34. At least with my fingernails
35. Toenails? Not so much
36. I eat a lot of candy
37. I haven't been to a dentist since I moved to Vegas
38. The last two statements do not bode well for my dental health
39. I can't urinate in a crowded bathroom
40. I think it might have something to do with stage fright
41. That's also why I could never star in a porno
42. Well, that and the fact that I'd be done in less than two minutes
43. I'm pretty sure that nobody wants to watch a two minute porno
44. I've never seen a porno
45. Unless you count the stuff they were showing at the Of Montreal concert
46. You know, the gay porn
47. But I didn't exactly watch that
48. I just averted my eyes until it was safe to look toward the stage again
49. I want to get a pilot's license
50. I tell everyone I'm 6' 4"
51. I'm really only 6' 3 3/4"
52. I snore
53. I also talk in my sleep
54. Or so I've been told
55. I've been too busy snoring and talking in my sleep to notice
So there you go. You now know 55 more things about me than you needed, or wanted, to.
9 comments:
you've never seen porn??
I guess that depends on how you'd classify porn. I've never watched a pornographic movie, but that's not including things that have been rated R for nudity and/or sex scenes. I know some people would qualify that as porn, but I don't. That also doesn't count pornographic magazines. I think I saw my first one of those when I was about eight years old.
Also, my dad just correctly pointed out that I was damn lucky that I tasted the grime on his finger when I was born, otherwise I would never have experienced the taste of sweet, sweet candy.
I'm with you on that whole stage fright thing. What's the deal with that? Why can't I pee when someone is at the urinal next to me. It reminds me of an episode of Beavis and Butthead where they are in the school bathroom and they forget how to pee.
This was good! Maybe I'll have to do this sometime.
You've hit five deer! You really do hate animals!! Hey, I heard you got 5 kids. Is that true?
AP
I've hit 2 deer...both in the same mountains... psychointern
and lots of people like 2 minute pornos if they are on YouTube :)
maybe you should watch more porn.
I never hit a deer when we lived in the mountains. But there was that one time I was coming down a hill and I saw a deer standing on the side of the road, we stared eachother down for half a second and then the race was on.
I knew I couldn't stop in time to let him run in front of me so I slammed the gas to the floor. The deer, of course, was making a break for the other side of the road. He just HAD to be there BEFORE my car passed him and he ended up slamming his head into my driver's side door as I went by.
I saw him spin in a circle in my rearview mirror. I laughed about it.
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