My ex-wife's birthday was yesterday. I called her when I left work to let her know that I hoped she was having a good one. However, I didn't recognize the voice of the person who answered the phone when I called.
Me: Hello?
Them: Hello.
Me: Who is this?
Them: It's [11 year old son]*.
Me: Oh, ok. Why do you sound weird?
Him (see how I just switched that? Mind blowing, I know!): I don't know.
Me: Maybe it's just because you are weird.
Him: That's something we ought to look into.
Me: I don't think there's any need. I think the evidence is pretty conclusive.
Him: (laughing)
Me: It's sort of like global warming. You still might get some idiots who say the jury's still out, but the data's in, and it's a fact.
I'm such a great father.
*I really ought to come up with some code names for my kids so that I can just use those instead of these ugly brackets.
Heretoforeafter I will refer to my children as follows:
13 year old daughter = Tortellini**
11 year old son = Togers***
5 year old son = Bill****
I hope you can all remember these.
**This is a nickname that I called her from the time she was one until she was in second or third grade. It died off a little as she got older, but I still use it from time to time.
***Comes from a conversation I had with him when he was four and I called his name.
Him: That's not my name.
Me: Oh yeah? What's your name then?
Him: My name's Togers.
Me: Ok. If you say so.
****In a move that is eerily similar to what I said above about my other son, a few months ago my five year old informed his mother that she was to call him Bill from then on. It didn't stick, but it works for my purposes.
11 comments:
Back in the day, I was complaning of how stupid my name was and how no one could say it correctly at school... so I wanted to change it.
Mom asked "OK, what do you want it to be?"
"Anything! Call me anything! I'd rather be called... Onion instead of *AnoMALIE*!"
Good thing that nickname didn't stick...
tortellini is a very cute nickname.
i like it!
Just a heads up, "todger" is British slang for penis.
Anomalie, can I start calling you Onion? Please?
Steph, I think it's cute too. That's why it stuck for so long. It sounds even cuter when used in conjunction with her real name. I wish I could take credit, but it was given to her by her mom's youngest brother when she was one.
Crabbypants, thanks for the heads up. Although, his nickname is pronounced Toe-gers. Maybe I should spell it more phonetically.
I was tempted to refer to my kids as Umlaut and Ampersand on my blog but I was vetoed.
so I mostly don't mention them at all.
even in my will :-)
I call mine "split-me-in-two"
I figure if it gets them laughing, then it's good for everyone. Togers is a good nickname.
Now you've got me intrigued as to what their real names are....Huey, Luey and Duey perhaps.
Great conversations, and great nicknames. What is it about daughters & pasta nicknames? Of course, Tortellini is much more creative than Noodle, but it fits.
Is it pronounced Togers rhyme with Rogers, or Toe-gers. I was thinking Toe-gers until I read the comments.
Mindy, you were correct. It's pronounced Toe-gers. It could also have been MaTogey, but that's just something that spun off of Togers, so I thought I'd go with the original.
Good!
I am so smart! S-M-R-T!
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