Easily confused

Earlier this week a colleague asked, "The Super Bowl is this week, right?"

"Yeah. Sunday."

"It's Sunday? I thought it was Thursday. Isn't it always on February 2?"

"Nope, you've got Super Bowl Sunday confused with Groundhog Day."

"Well, I knew something was happening Thursday."

I wish I was a little bit taller, wish I was a baller

Those of you who follow college basketball are probably aware of the buzz surrounding Jimmer Fredette. Those of you who don't could probably care less. I was watching something the other day and one of the people commented that Jimmer Fredette was just a good basketball name.

Um, what? The name Jimmer Fredette does little to conjure images of basketball in my mind. I can, however, think of a few other things the name Jimmer Fredette is well suited for:

- Panning for gold

- Milking cows

- Hunting raccoons

- Quilting

- Shearing sheep

- Frog gigging

- Making moonshine

- Rapping*










*Just kidding. Just wanted to see who was still paying attention.

The young quarterback waits for the snap when suddenly it all starts to make sense

Sports has made me a hypocrite. Why? Because I'm a Philadelphia Eagles fan. You know where this is headed.

Like everyone else with the ability to discern right from wrong, I was appalled at Michael Vick's dog fighting scandal when that news broke. As more and more became known about the atrocities that he participated in, I was even more disgusted. He deserved everything he got. The prison time. The bankruptcy. Everything.

When Vick was released from prison, I knew he would play in the NFL again, and I was sure it would be this season. There's always a team that's willing to take a chance if they think it will help them win. I just didn't think it'd be "my" team. I was very surprised when I heard that he'd signed with the Eagles, and even more surprised when I heard that Donovan McNabb was the one who approached management with the idea. I figured that if he played it would be for a team with a history of signing players with baggage, like the Cowboys or the Raiders.

My initial response was shock. I couldn't believe the Eagles were taking a chance like this. Not after the Terrell Owens debacle anyway. But that only lasted a short while, and then I bought into it. I started thinking about how Vick might be able to help my team win games, and the prospect made me feel better about the upcoming season. So now I'm hoping he performs well. I have to. Either that or renounce my team, and I'm not willing to do that.

Had he signed with any other team, I'd probably still refer to him as the dog killer. Especially if it was the Cowboys. Now that he's on "my" team, I argue that he deserves a second chance. After all, I'd like to think that if I ever screwed up that I'd be able to do my time and be able to get a job doing something in the same field I was trained in (See how easy that is for me to rationalize? Not that I'd screw up as badly as he did, but still).

And that's why I'm a hypocrite. But at least I didn't take it as far as one Eagles fan who was asked about how he felt about Vick being on the team. His response was more along the lines of: Well, he didn't kill my dog.

And if you see Johnny football hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game

While driving to Salt Lake City on Saturday I talked to Epitome-of-Sweetness on the phone. She asked who I wanted to win the Superbowl and said she was rooting for the Cardinals. I said I didn't really care who won. I don't like either team, but when it all comes down to it, I'd rather see the team who hasn't had a lot of success through the years. That tipped the scale in favor of the Cardinals*.

She said she wanted the Cardinals to win because she really liked Kurt Warner.

I said he'd be a reason for me to want the Cardinals to lose.

She was shocked. How could I not like a guy who has done so many good things? After all, he married a woman who had disabled kids. He used to bag groceries. He does charity work for disabled kids. You've heard all the stories. That's exactly why I'm sick of him. I don't care if he helps raise money to help disabled kids. He does it for self-serving reasons. Do you think he'd be actively doing that if he didn't have disabled kids of his own? I doubt it. I hate hearing about him. I especially hate hearing from him. Did you know that God helped Kurt and his team beat the Eagles in the NFC championship game? It's true! Kurt Warner said so.

I hate hearing athletes talk about God. I have news for them. You play a game. For a living. You get paid more than anybody probably should be paid to play a game. I get that. I'd do the same thing if I had the ability, but still, it's a game. God doesn't care whether you win or lose. In fact, if I had to wager on it, God would probably be pissed off that you play it on Sundays. That's not exactly keeping the Sabbath day holy as He commanded in The Bible, is it Mr. Warner?

What does God do when there are people who believe in him on both teams? Does He push the most faithful team to victory? Oh, that's right. He doesn't do anything. The outcome depends on talent, making good plays, and catching a few lucky bounces throughout the game. To presume otherwise is sheer arrogance. We won because God likes us better? The following quote by Jeff Stilson comes to mind:

" I'm trying to wean myself off sports, it's too time consuming. I don't watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God, and the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I'd like to hear a player say, 'Yeah, we were in the game—until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.'"

It's the same type of thinking for people who survive a tragedy to believe they're meant to do something special in life because God spared them. So isn't that about the same as saying that the people who died did because they were somehow unworthy? Seems that way to me. People need to get over themselves.

Epitome-of-Sweetness seemed taken aback by my rant. She said that maybe I was the Anti-Christ. She said that at her old job people always said that about her, but she was thinking it applied more to me. Then she gave me a quote that I'll adopt as my own personal slogan: I'm not anti-Christ, I'm just anti-stupid-people.









*It wasn't meant to be. Maybe God doesn't like Kurt Warner as much as Kurt Warner would like to think. The end of the game was fairly entertaining, which is about all I'd hoped for.

Hey monkey, when you open up your blue eyes I don't know if I'm wide awake or dreaming

During one of the Superbowl commercials:

Me: That's gross. I'd never kiss a monkey.

Flieswithoutwings: Never?

Me: Wait. I take that back. If they paid me the amount of money they paid that guy to be in their commercial, I'd totally kiss a monkey.

Flieswithoutwings: I think you'd probably kiss a monkey for a couple hundred dollars.

Like a goalie tending the net in the third quarter of a tied game rivalry*

Here are a few of my favorite sports quotes from 2008:

"Man, I'm so hyped right now. Anything's possible. Anything's pooooosssssssiiiiiiibbbbbblllllleeeeeee!!!!" Boston Celtics PF Kevin Garnett in an interview right after winning the NBA championship.

"Michelle, you look good tonight, girl. You look good." Kevin Garnett seconds later in that same interview, hitting on the interviewer.

"Some guys don't like to play, some guys do. Some treat it like a job. You've got to wonder how many guys play basketball because they're tall." Utah Jazz head coach Jerry Sloan responding to questions about what's keeping one of his young players from performing well on a regular basis.

"I'm happy to be back in Calgary. I love Canada. And I just wanted to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight." Dallas Stars left winger Sean Avery doing some pre-game trash talk that would later get him cut from the team.

"I wake up tomorrow and I keep living." Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo answering a question about how he deals with tough losses such as the season ending blowout administered by the Philadelphia Eagles last Sunday.

"Have I ever had a reason for why I do what I do? I'm having fun." Cincinatti Bengals WR Chad 'Ocho Cinco' responding to questions about why he had his last name legally changed from Johnson to Ocho Cinco.

"We know the difference between a 47 year old black male and a young black female." Police Chief David Hall disputing hall of famer Isiah Thomas' claim that police had it wrong when they said he had overdosed on sleeping pills and that it was actually his teenage daughter who had been hospitalized.

"If you really want to pound it in, you need some extra beef in the backfield." - NFL announcer that I don't know, but it could very easily have been any of them.






*This Postal Service lyric illustrates why musicians should stick to singing about things they know** about since a goalie would only be guarding the net during the third period of a hockey game, or the second half of a soccer match. I'm just sayin'.

**Unless, of course they're singing about water polo or lacrosse, in which case forget I said a thing.

But you cannot stop the television

Now that the Super Bowl is over, I have to admit I'm a little sad. Regular TV doesn't have live announcers stating things like the following:

"He has the speed and agility to get to the backside hole"
"There's so much front side penetration that he has to go deeper on the backside"
"He just took a load from the sideline coach"
"When he gets the balls in his hands"

On the bright side, at least there's still the NBA:

"He's got dribble penetration"
"There he goes with the back door pass"
"He goes back door and takes it to the hole"
"All these guys getting facials are going to end up posterized."

In the third quarter of a tied game rivalry

Since I did nothing today other than shop and watch the Super Bowl, I've really got nothing to say. However, I'm not going to let that stop me. I thought I'd do a running diary of Super Bowl XLII. Read on if you wish, but I can't say I blame you if you decide not to. On with the diary:

3:20 Jordan Sparks sings the national anthem. American Idol still sucks, but I have to admit, the girl's got a good set of pipes. Her voice ain't bad either.

3:25 The team captains take the field for the coin toss. It looks like a street fight could break out. Either that, or a new rendition of Michael Jackson's Bad.

3:27 The New York Giants win the coin toss and will receive.

3:28 I've already seen more ads for House than I care to. It could be a long night.

3:31 Bill Belichick is wearing a red sweatshirt instead of his normal gray one with the sleeves cut off. He must have wanted to dress up for the Super Bowl. It's very becoming.

3:41 The Giants are marching down the field, but all I can think about is what those green dots on the back of the players' helmets are for. I've wondered this all season, but have been too lazy to actually look it up.

3:45 The Giants are the first ones on the board with a field goal. NY 3, NE 0

3:53 There's a myspace page with all the Super Bowl commercials on it. I think we just reached an all new low as a society.

3:56 One of the announcers (I can never tell if it's Jason Buck or Troy Aikman that's talking unless the camera's right on them) talks about Tom Brady's ankle and says that even though he's not experiencing pain, when he goes to plant it, it "might affect the deep throw." My friend calls out from the kitchen, "It might affect the deep throat?" See? It's not just me that's a perv.

3:59 I just noticed that the Patriots form their huddle at a 90 degree angle to the way we formed ours in high school. It never crossed my mind before that different teams might huddle up differently. I'll have to look and see how other NFL teams do this.

4:01 Just because you're able to do things using CGI doesn't mean you should. I'm talking to you, creators of the fox robot.

4:03 Lawrence Maroney just scored a touchdown to put the Patriots in the lead. He's good. NE 7, NY 3

4:07 The first commercial to make me laugh deals with giant carrier pigeons that are wreaking havoc on the streets. Maybe I'll have to visit that myspace page after all.

4:10 Eli Manning completes one of the luckiest passes I've seen in a while: 38 yards to Amani Toomer (It's not a tumor).

4:14 As if to balance out the luck, Eli Manning just threw his first interception of the post season. It couldn't have come at a more inopportune time as the Giants were threatening to score. This could be a huge momentum shift.

4:17 My friend just tells me a story about the time she met a midget dominatrix. Then she tells me it didn't really happen. I've never been so disappointed.

4:19 The second noteworthy commercial airs, and I just have to say, a family of ferocious sleeping badgers is a great premise for a commercial.

4:34 I have to say, the Giants are controlling the ball much better than I (or anybody else) thought they would.

4:40 A new T-Mobile commercial with Dwyane Wade and Charles Barkley. Chuck cracks me up.

4:55 The first half ends with a hail Mary pass that falls incomplete. This game has been exciting so far.

4:57 Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are performing the half time show. Since there's no chance of a nipple slip (or if there is, I don't really need to see it) I suppose I'll into the kitchen to eat some chicken that's so good it "has trouble making it onto the plate" according to my friend.

5:05 Wow that chicken was good. She wasn't lying. The gravy was good too. My friend said we had the "perfect storm of gravy" and all I could think of was a giant brown wave getting ready to crash over a fishing boat. Now that's something we should get the CGI guys working on.

5:09 I'm amazed at how young Tom Petty still looks.

5:19 I must be getting fat because I just realized that my balls get pinched in my pants more often than they used to.

5:19 Is there any more gravy?

5:52 A trailer for the movie Jumper starring Darth Vader comes on. I state that the movie looks like it sucks. My friend states that teleportation is the one super power she'd want over all others. That's just because she's inherently lazy.

5:56 Yes, there's still a game on. Tom Brady just narrowly avoided being sacked for a safety. I'm impressed with the Giants' defense.

5:59 Wes Welker comes up with a huge catch. I can't help but wonder how well the Eagles would do if they would ever get some half decent receivers.

6:01 Tom Brady is starting to look a little shaken up. That's not something I'm used to seeing.

6:02 End of the third quarter. If you'd have offered a bet that the score would be that low after three, I'd have taken it and laughed at you. I may have even kicked you in the balls for good measure. Good thing you didn't offer me that bet.

6:11 I just remembered to look at the Giants' huddle. What do you know? It's the same as the way we did ours in high school. I guess different teams do huddle up differently.

6:11 Touchdown Giants. NY 10, NE 7

6:22 An e-trade commercial with a talking baby makes me laugh. The baby is talking about how he made eight times the average trader and says "thought about what to do with all the extra coin. I rented a clown. But, you know, I really underestimated the creepiness."

That reminds me of a joke I once heard: There was a clown who went to a kid's birthday party, and while he was going around entertaining all the kids, he felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked down and there was a little boy who asked him to do a magic trick. He says, "Look kid, I'm a clown. I don't do magic. Here, have a balloon animal instead." He then goes on about his business. A short while later he feels another tug on his sleeve. He looks down, and it's the same kid, asking him to do a magic trick. "Look kid, I already told you once, I'm a clown, I don't do magic. Now beat it." The kid goes away, but not for long. The clown feels another tug on his sleeve, and the kid asks him again to do a magic trick. Frustrated, the clown says, "Ok fine. You want to see a magic trick? Go around to the other side of the house and I'll come show you a magic trick." The kid gets all excited and goes. Once they're around back the clown says, "Alright, now turn around and pull down your pants." The kid obeys. The clown says, "There, do you feel my thumb up your ass?" The kid nods. The clown sticks both hands out with his thumbs in the air and yells, "TA DA."

Think about it.

6:33 New England's offense is finally starting to click.

6:39 Tom Brady to Randy Moss. Touchdown. (see, I told you it was starting to click) NE 14, NY 10

6:45 I want to meet the girl from the Victoria's Secret commercial. (And by "meet" I mean "make out with.")

6:52 Excellent play by the Giants. Great catch by David Tyree. New York has the ball at New England's 24 with 59 seconds left. This game is close!

6:56 Eli Manning lobs it to Plaxico Burress for a touchdown. New York regains the lead. NY 17, NE 14

I suppose now would be an appropriate time for me to thank Plaxico for carrying my fantasy football team for so long, even though he couldn't practice and played injured all year long. Who knows? I probably would have won the whole thing if he'd been healthy. (Ok, that's probably taking it a bit too far, but whatever.)

7:04 The crowd storms the field with 0:01 left on the clock. The officials have to clear off the field so that the Giants can take a knee and run out the clock. New York wins. Un-freaking-believable. So much for New England's perfect season. Wow! Just, wow! I never thought I'd see the day that Eli Manning won a Super Bowl, let alone be named MVP.

7:12 I always feel bad for the players on the losing team. I don't know why I care. They wouldn't feel bad for me. Oh well. I suppose the Patriots had a good run with a historical season and all that, but wow. I guess we don't have to worry anymore about whether their perfect season would be tainted by "Spygate" anymore.

This was a close game. I'm glad I'm not a Pats fan. This one's going to be hard for them to recover from.

As a whole, the commercials were disappointing this year. Is it really so much to ask for more than just a few commercials that are funny? Or for more than a few with gorgeous women? Seriously people. I'm trying to be entertained here.

You can't touch me 'cause I'm electric and if you touch me you'll get shocked

I belong to a fantasy football league. We've been doing it for four years now, and it's usually the same people who sign up for teams. It's fun to have competitions like that among friends, especially as a way of keeping in touch with those who've moved away. It also makes watching the NFL a lot more fun since every game has implications for the people who are playing (I don't know why I'm explaining this. Those who play fantasy football already get it. Those who don't think those who do are dorks). I have yet to win a championship (in this league, I did win the first year I played in a different one), but most years I've at least had a competitive team. Until this year that is. This year my team sucked, and one of my other friends won the title.

The trophy ceremony was two nights ago at a bar near campus. My friend who won asked me if I wanted to ride over with him. I did. When we got to the bar, I went to open the door of his truck, and broke the handle right off. I guess I'd forgotten my own strength. This isn't the first time something like that has happened. Here are a few other instances* where I've forgotten my own strength.

I once . . .

. . . leaned against a tower in Pisa, Italy. You already know the result of that little incident.

. . . beat Chuck Norris in an arm wrestling match without even realizing we were arm wrestling.

. . . sneezed and blew a freight train off the tracks.

. . . administered CPR to a guy and accidentally pushed all the way through his chest and into the pavement below. It was ok though because he turned out to be the spawn of Satan, so I did the world a favor.

. . . flattened a mountain when I fell down on it.

. . . snarled at a wolf and gave it a heart attack.

. . . flicked a booger while driving and shattered the windshield of the car behind me, which wasn't even a car, but an army tank.

. . . killed a man when a toenail clipping got away from me and penetrated his skull.







*These may or may not have actually happened.

The clock's running down, the team's losing ground to the opposing defense

I don't talk about sports a whole lot on here, but I am a pretty big football fan. I play fantasy football every year and have a lot of fun with it (even though my fantasy team didn't make the playoffs this year). Fantasy implications aside, I enjoy watching NFL games for the competition and entertainment value.

Particularly when the announcers say* things like this:

"He stays right there in the pocket"
"He splits the seam"
"He pounds it up the middle"
"We expect to see more deep balls"
"He feels like he's open on every play"
"He completed six passes to him"
"It's a comfortable feeling to have your linemen in front"
"They get beat deep so much"
"At the end of it, he takes a pretty good lick"
"He starts the play split out wide"
"The problem is the distribution of the balls"
"He usually is the guy who's delivering the good blow"




* These are all quotes from yesterday's games.

Great balls of fire

It may be time to think about giving up racquetball altogether if you end up getting hit by the ball four times in one game. Especially if two of those times the ball hits you square in the nuts.

I need someone to kiss it better. Any volunteers?

Track down your friends to a bar

Last night we had to set up for a practical lab final that our students will be taking this week. I had plans to watch the Monday Night Football game with one of my friends afterward, but didn't know that anyone else was going. One of my other friends was setting up, and he was in a hurry to finish so that he could go watch the game.

Me: Who are you going to watch the game with?
Him: You, Fuckface.
Me: Oh, I didn't know. I thought you might be going to watch it with some other friends.
Him (voice laden with sarcasm): Is it ok with you if I go, even though you didn't invite me but she did? You don't even care do you?

When we finally finished setting up I asked him if he'd be coming back to campus so that I could just ride with him and have him drop me off at my car.

Him: Yeah, I was going to ask you the same thing. But then I thought that would be dick.

I have to enjoy this while I can. It's not likely to last for too much longer, although a guy can dream can't he?

Talk is often cheap and filled with air

During this week's Monday Night Football game there was a catered function taking place at the bar. Luckily, even though we weren't allowed into the area with the free food, our booth was right next to it, so we were able to score a couple of bite sized cheese cakes.

We tried to get one of the waitresses to bring us a couple of slices of carrot cake, but she didn't come through in time. She said she'd try, but the caterer started cleaning stuff up before she could get over there.

As the caterer was packing stuff up, she grabbed two boxes full of the bite sized cheese cakes and carried them away. She was a little on the heavy side, so as she was walking off with the boxes one of my friends said, "Those cheesecakes don't stand a chance."

And you all thought I was the only one who made fun of people.

He's going the distance

The other night a friend of mine and I went to watch the Monday Night Football game. Just as we were leaving school his mom called him, so he was talking to her as we walked. Apparently I was walking too fast because he took the phone away from his ear just long enough to say something to me about it:

Him: "What, are you running a fucking race?"
Me: "You can't talk like that with your mom on the phone."
His Mom: "What are you laughing at?"
Him: "I'm laughing at [Native Minnow]. He's walking fast, so I asked him if he was running a fucking race. He said that I can't talk like that with you on the phone."
His Mom: "Am I going to have to give you the lecture? You weren't raised to use language like that."
Him: "Sure. I didn't learn any of those words until I moved to Vegas."

Thanks for keeping my throne warm for me pal

I'm back! Sorry it's been so long. My weekend was fun, and I've been kind of swamped since I got back. Here's a (not so) brief recap of things.

We rented a cabin at Brian Head Ski Resort in Utah. It was pretty expensive, but not by the time we divided the cost between 16 people. The cabin we were in was really nice, probably nicer than any home I'll ever own. Unless I'm able to find myself that sugar mama that is. (the picture really doesn't do it justice)

I got there early on Thursday, in fact, I was a little too early since nobody else was there and I couldn't even get in without breaking a window or something. But, since it was my dad's birthday, and my parents only live another hour and a half away from where I was at, I decided to surprise him by showing up at the door (I called my mom first so she would know I was coming and keep him around the house). My sister and her husband had the same idea and flew down to see him (her husband's a pilot), so that pretty much solidified our status as the favorite kids.

Friday we got up and went mountain biking. We did a 14 mile trail that was almost all downhill. It was a bit technical (compounded by the fact that the trail was either muddy or covered in snow for most of the way) so I ended up crashing a few times. Nothing too bad, but enough to scrape up my knees some. It really isn't as bad as it looks, it's just that it kept bleeding as I rode and mud from the trail got mixed in with it, but most of it washed right off when I took to getting myself cleaned up. Later that night I learned how to play Texas Hold 'Em, and broke even, so all in all the day was a success.

It pretty much snowed all day on Saturday, so that didn't leave us with the option of biking. I guess we could have, but that would have been crazy. Instead of sitting around the cabin all day long (I'd have hated to have gotten cabin fever and resorted to cannibalism) I decided to drive over and visit my grandma who is in the hospital with an infection in her leg. The roads were pretty bad, and I almost turned around, but then it lightened up as I came down off the mountain so I continued on and solidified my place as the favorite grandkid as well. I visited with her for about an hour until it seemed like she was getting worn out. I needed to get back over the mountain before the roads got too icy anyway, but I still felt guilty walking out of there. At one point in our conversation she asked me if I'd come over alone (I think she was trying to find out if I had a girlfriend, but she never came out and said it). I told her that I did (come alone), and that my friends were all back at the cabin playing cards, watching TV or working on their laptops, to which she replied, "Laptop people huh? That's who you run around with?" Yes Grandma, I run around with those crazy laptop people. Later that night I won the whole pot at Texas Hold 'Em. Look out World Series of Poker, here I come!

Since the snow storm left everything even more wet and muddy than Friday was, we decided to drive down toward Zion National Park to go biking there on Sunday. It was a lot of fun, even though the trail wasn't all down hill and that meant I had to work to get my biking in. This trail was only about 8 miles, but it wore all of us out. Here's a picture of me riding around on the rocks just minutes before successfully landing a jump off about a two foot drop. Unfortunately, I was so busy being proud of myself for staying upright on that one that I failed to see the next dip, and I went flying over the handle bars and landed flat on my back(note to self: Next time you can pat yourself on the back after the ride).

Anyway, I could go on and on (even more than I already have, I promise), but I have to go watch my friends lose a softball game right now, so I'm going to call it quits for tonight. I hope that all of you had a weekend that was as good as mine, but I doubt you did. It was exactly what I needed.

Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me

I went out with some of my friends to watch Monday Night Football the other night. Near the end of the game a group of girls walked in and sat down. One of my friends expressed disappointment that it wasn't a group of guys for her to ogle.

My friend got up to visit the restroom, which was bad timing because she missed the re-enactment of one of the scenes from Dodgeball by this group of girls. It wasn't very funny in the movie, and it certainly wasn't funny when re-enacted by drunk people (in fact, few things in life are).

Her (upon returning from the restroom): "What do you guys think of those girls over there?"
Me: "Eh, they don't really do much for me." I then pointed at my friend and said, "and he thinks they're stupid."
Her: "Really? What makes you think that?"
Friend 1: "You can just tell by looking at them."
Her: "No really, how can you tell?"
Friend 2: "The two X chromosomes are a dead giveaway."

Fly like an eagle

The next time I decide to blow off studying so that I can watch my favorite NFL team play, the least they could do is WIN THE GAME!!!

Especially when they are already up 24-7 and have sacked the opposing team's QB eight times.

You guys ever hear of closing out?

USA Basketball

The other night I went to see the USA Men's Basketball team play Puerto Rico's national team. I have a million other things that I should have been working on instead, but it's not very often that you get an opportunity to see some of the NBA's best players on the floor at the same time, let alone on the same team. Plus, tickets were only $15, at least for the nose-bleed seats behind the basket, which is what we got. Everything else had already been taken by the time we bought our tickets.

I took my camera along on the off chance that I'd be able to put the 10x zoom to good use. A few of the pictures even turned out decent. Here's one that I took right as they were about to throw up the opening tip. It could probably have been framed better, but I'm just glad you can see Team USA's starting five:

I took a few other pictures of individual players, but none of them turned out great. I also tried to get a few short video clips of some of the better plays, but I would usually end up only recording the tail end of a dunk so that was a little disappointing. I guess the cool thing is that the US team crushed Puerto Rico. The final score was 114-69.

In addition to the players on the team, there were several big names from the NBA in attendance . Scottie Pippen, Clyde Drexler and Pat Riley to name just a few, but the one I got most excited about was Julius Erving. That's right, Julius freakin' Erving! I took some pictures that all came out quite blurry, but figured I'd show the best one:
Shut up, I'm willing to bet that it's better than any picture you've ever taken of Dr. J., and it's hard to hold your camera still enough without a tripod when you're at max zoom.

Surprisingly (or perhaps not so surprisingly), the picture I took of the hot girls sitting a few rows behind Dr. J. came out a little better: All I can say is that if I had realized that playing in the NBA would have meant groupies like this then I probably would have applied myself to learning the game of basketball a little better in my youth.

(I'm sorry if I'm being stereotypical here, but if I see a row of hot girls all sitting in the third row at half court at a game like this, and there are no males with them, and they don't really appear to be paying attention to the game, I'm drawing the conclusion that they are groupies).

Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks

Last night I took my kids to a triple A baseball game. My ten year old has always been interested in baseball, but didn't actually start working at it until this summer. It was cute when he'd call me up and tell me all about his games, especially when he'd start talking about the next one. For example, his team was in the playoffs and had lost their first game but won their next two (it was a double elimination tournament), and their next game was against the team that had already beat them. He said "They beat us last time, but now they've lost one game too, so we're going to get our revenge and knock them out of the playoffs." Unfortunately, that didn't end up happening and my son's team was out instead.

My three year old fell asleep in the car on the way out, so we didn't stop to eat anywhere before the game. I figured I'd just get them each a hot dog at the park, I just forgot that four hot dogs and drinks at a stadium would cost me $30. Between that and the fact that tickets cost more than I expected I probably spent more than I wanted to, but hopefully it's something they'll remember doing with their dad.

The game was a total blowout. Our team fell behind in the second inning, and before we knew it they were down 12 to 0. My daughter paid more attention to the game than my son who is supposedly interested in baseball, and my three year old started whining to go home starting in the first inning. On top of that, it was hot and humid (for Vegas anyway) and we probably would have left if not for the fact that there was going to be a "fireworks extravaganza" immediately following the game. Every time my three year old said he wanted to go home I told him we had to wait for the fireworks. As soon as they started he forgot all about going home. I'm not sure he's old enough to remember seeing them last year because he was totally captivated by them. Once they started I said "Ok, it's time to go home now." All of a sudden he didn't want to anymore.

Luckily, the home team was actually able to come up with some offense during the last inning and started to score some runs. To my older son's credit, he did start paying attention to the game when there was some excitement there. The last inning and the fireworks were enough to salvage the experience for my kids. They all said that it was fun and that they were glad we went, even though it was hot and muggy and the home team stunk. I'm just thankful for the time I get to spend with them.