Sunday, February 27, 2011

What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men you just can't reach.

I got this email a few months ago. I meant to post it then, but somehow it got buried in my inbox. Better late then never though, right? Enjoy!

I hope to hear from you again

I am glad for your answer. How do you today? I am a young girl, a good search, sexy figure of an ideal body. My country of Darfur, Sudan. My height is about 5.11 meters tall, fair in person, I at one time, I live in a refugee camp in Dakar as a result of political crisis and civil war is happening in my country, Sudan. My father and mother were shot and killed in the war my late father, Dr. Korren Annan became director general of Korren & Partners (Ltd), and it was a personal konsultantna Sudanese (President Omar al-Bashir), after which the rebels attacked our house, and in the early morning killing of my mother and my father in cold blood. It is only me that is alive, and I managed my way to the next country Senegal, where I live now in a refugee camp, and that the computer belongs to the pastor of the church here in the camp.

My Hobbies:
Swimming, music, cooking and reading.
My likes: honesty and simplicity
I do not like: lies and disappointment

I would like to know more about you. Your likes and dislikes, hobbies and what you do now.
I will tell you more about myself in my next post. Here are some of my paintings. Regards - Jessica

Perhaps I should've responded?

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Got a devil's haircut in my mind

Last Friday I went in for a haircut appointment. It was my first time going to this guy. He came highly recommended from the guy who cut my hair in Vegas, so I figured he'd do a good job.

When he finished with the haircut and was washing my hair he asked, "Have you ever had your eyebrows trimmed? I'm going to do that right now."

I said, "I haven't, but are they really that bad?"


Sunday, February 20, 2011

So I grabbed baby girl by the rear end

A couple of Fridays ago I had to call a friend from Vegas to ask him about some things. When I called him, a female friend of ours answered the phone. I recognized her voice right away, and talked to her for a few minutes before she handed the phone to him. He walked outside so he could hear me better, we talked about the things I needed to ask him for several minutes, but eventually he started feeling like he was being rude by talking to me and ignoring her.

Him: I'd better go. [Friend] is sitting at the table all by herself.

Me: Okay. Grab her ass for me when you go back inside. Make sure you tell her it's from me.

Him: Alright. Will do.

Less than a minute later, I got a text.

Her: Why are you grabbing my butt?

Me: It looks so nice I can't help it. Especially in those jeans. It's good to see that he's okay with following orders.

Her: I'm sure he didn't need a lot of convincing.

I can attest to that.

Monday, February 14, 2011

And love it don't die, it just goes from girl to girl

This pic of "me" was taken by my brother out on a frozen lake up the canyon from his house. There are definitely perks to having a gifted photographer in the family. It is my Valentine to GWWBMGF. I know it's lame, but whatever.

I hope everyone who wants to has a great Valentine's Day (I know not everyone likes to celebrate the "made-up" holiday). It'd be nice to have someone to spend it with, but since I don't, the "phone date" I have tonight will have to do.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

I wish I was a little bit taller, wish I was a baller

Those of you who follow college basketball are probably aware of the buzz surrounding Jimmer Fredette. Those of you who don't could probably care less. I was watching something the other day and one of the people commented that Jimmer Fredette was just a good basketball name.

Um, what? The name Jimmer Fredette does little to conjure images of basketball in my mind. I can, however, think of a few other things the name Jimmer Fredette is well suited for:

- Panning for gold

- Milking cows

- Hunting raccoons

- Quilting

- Shearing sheep

- Frog gigging

- Making moonshine

- Rapping*

*Just kidding. Just wanted to see who was still paying attention.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

It's not a question about getting the message

Mr M: You're old. And I'm closer to my birthday than you.

Me: No you're not. I only have to wait until April. Yours isn't until September.

Mr M: So? You're closer to death than I am. Ha ha ha ha.

Touche. Jerk!