Thursday, October 12, 2006

and I'm the king of the road

Here are the reasons why I am a good driver and everyone else sucks:
  • I can drive near an accident, and even look at it, without slowing down
  • I move to the right lane when someone behind me is going much faster than I am
  • I use my turn signals
  • I understand right-of-way laws
  • When I make a left hand turn I end up in the correct lane when I straighten back out
  • I don't think I'm too good to merge before my lane ends
  • When I pass, I go more than 1 mph faster than the person I am passing, even when I'm driving uphill
  • I find it easy to stay in my own lane, even while I'm talking on my cell phone and even if a gust of strong wind catches me while I'm reaching for some chocolate covered cinnamon bears
  • I can work the gas and brake pedals equally well with either of my feet (with or without shoes on)
  • I haven't fallen asleep at the wheel in 4 years, and the last time I did I was able to successfully maneuver a construction zone
  • I can steer the car with my knee for a long enough period of time to jot down lists like these

And with that, I'm off to the mountains for the weekend. See you when I get back.

2 comments:

deputymomof6 said...

And I thank you for driving like that. I love how people think that I am safe to pull out in front of because I am in a police car. They like to wait until I am right up to them, then SLOWLY pull out so I have to slam on the brakes. They are retarded idiots, and all cars should be equipped with torpedo launchers so we can rid our roads of crappy drivers. :)

PsychDoctor said...

Yeah...You sound like a real safe driver... :)