Sunday, January 07, 2007

Money's not concerned with the sick amongst the pure

Lately I've been thinking about what I would do if I were ever to become rich enough to just waste as much as I want. I'm not talking about becoming a professional athlete kind of rich, I'm talking about becoming a Saudi prince kind of rich. I haven't worked out the details of how exactly I'm going to do that (it could be tricky since my parents aren't royalty), but I've decided on one thing I'll do when I get to that point.

I could opt to buy myself a big gas guzzling SUV like an H2, but that's been done by just about every rapper and professional athlete in the U. S. You might suggest that I go one step further and get the stretch limo version of such an SUV, but it turns out that it's too easy to get shot in one of those.

Besides, I need something that's going to set me apart from all the common rich folk. I could go with something like a toilet made of solid gold. Alas, that too has already been done (years ago in fact). Furthermore, once you actually have the solid gold toilet, you're pretty much done wasting your money.

No, to fully demonstrate my opulence, I need something that constantly needs to be replaced. So, I've decided that I'll just use molecular grade water for all my physical needs. Not only will I drink it, but I'll also use it for showering, brushing my teeth, doing laundry, washing my cars (I will have an entire fleet of those too), etc. At a price of $28 per gallon, everyone would marvel at my lavishness, and my superiority over everyone else would be fully demonstrated.

5 comments:

Lauren said...

Spoken like a true scientist! I would probably also drink $8 water, but that's another story. Ask Piz or your hero T-Bone if you want details.

Native Minnow said...

I realize that my business plan is much like that of the underpants gnomes'easy three step program to making profit:

Step 1: Collect underpants
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Profit

flieswithoutwings said...

My plan is to show Old Man Stu at the company that I work honestly with a lot of hustle. When the company screws or degrades me it will roll off of me like water from a ducks back.

Then when I'm 70 I will get a cushy job crushing cardboard into recyclable cubes. I will have a pension and a discount at the store.

That's just like being rich, don't you think?

And you can't take it... no... you can't take it. No. You can't take that away from me...

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure you could start another blog dedicated exclusivly to ideas such as these and then you could accept money to give rich people ideas about how to waste money.

Then you could actually put your plans into action.

PsychDoctor said...

I think starlet has a great idea...maybe you could get rich people to pay you to spend their money...