Ex-wife: I think you should date my biology teacher.
Me: You do huh?
Ex-wife: Yeah, I do. She's not that pretty, but she's well educated and seems to be really cool. She has a lisp, but you don't even notice it after a while.
Me: Um. I'm pretty shallow. Plus, she lives in Salt Lake City so I don't really see how that would work out.
Ex-wife: I just thought that you'd have a lot in common because you're interested in the same subject. I said she was smart, but she's not arrogant.
Me: But I am, remember? I heard that from you for years.
I don't know why everyone is suddenly feeling the need to find love for me (I mean, obviously I'm incapable of doing it myself, but still). I'm finding it to be a little annoying. Strike that. Make that QUITE annoying. I would like to take this time to add another rule to who I will consider dating.
New Rule: NO LISPS!!!
6 comments:
Wasn't it Hawkeye that had a crush on a girl with a lisp? Or was that an overbite? And frankly, there are degrees of lisps.
And did I mention I LOVE to play matchmaker? I think that's the main reason they do it, not that they think you need a love in your life. They just look at you as one of the few people they can actually set up.
All this fuss over a couple of extra essessssssss.
Ahaha! I can actually give myself a pretty mean lisp when I try.
Lisps are kind of adorable, man (Well... maybe not in the case of Mike Tyson. His lisp is just sad. My heart goes out to the poor guy each time I hear him pronounce his own name).
How about adding NO "she's not that pretty, but she's well educated." NOW, if she is hot AND educated, there is something wrong there, too, if she is still single then she is a psycho. You poor guys just cannot win this one!!
Do you think there might be any correlation with how often you say you need a girlfriend????
Anaonymous, there are only a handful of people that I ever make that comment to, and I believe I usually just say that I need a hot girl to make out with, not a girlfriend. At any rate, the people who are attempting to set me up do not belong to that handful of people anyway. Do you think I'd ever talk to my ex-wife about stuff like that? Or my brother's wife that I can barely talk to about anything because we have so little in common?
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