Here's a joke for my dad, since he's recently decided that he won't be purchasing the Harley that he's had his eye on:
There was a chicken and a horse who lived on a farm and were the best of friends. One day they were out in the fields and the horse fell into some mud. As he began to sink he whinnied to the chicken to go for help.
The chicken hurried back to the farmhouse to get the farmer. Unfortunately, the farmer was nowhere to be found. What was the chicken to do? He wasn't strong enough to pull the horse out on his own. He frantically tried to think of a way that he could save his friend when he spotted the farmer's new Harley. Luckily, the keys were in the ignition, so the chicken hopped on, fired it up, and rode back to the mudhole where the horse was now up to his neck.
The chicken tossed a length of rope to the horse, and told him to bite down on it. He then tied the other end to the back end of the motorcycle and then drove forward. He was able to pull the horse out of the mud, thus saving his friend's life. Together they went back to the farmhouse, parked the Harley, and the farmer was none the wiser.
The next spring, with the incident removed from their minds, the chicken and the horse were back in the same area on the farm. They were careless, and this time the chicken fell into the mud. He cried out to the horse, "Quick! Go back to the farmhouse and get the farmer's Harley so you can rescue me like I rescued you."
The horse thought for a minute, and instead just stepped across part of the mudhole. He told the chicken, "Just grab onto that hangy-down thing between my rear legs, and I'll use that to pull you out."
The chicken grabbed on, and the horse walked backward, thus returning the favor that his friend had done for him the previous year.
The moral of the story?
When you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Harley to pick up chicks.
There, Dad. Does that make you feel any better?