Today I am giving my students an exam. I told them that yesterday's lecture would not be covered on it, but that I'd put that material on the final instead. Not surprisingly, very few of them showed up to class yesterday so before I started lecturing I told the ones who were there to take out a sheet of paper, write their name on it, then hand it in to me and I'd give them some sort of extra credit for it.
When the last student handed me their paper I said to the class, "There. Now aren't you glad you decided to come to class today?"
My new favorite student called out, "We're glad we come to class every day."
Who says flattery gets you nowhere?