About ready to give up

As a couple of you know, my ex-girlfriend was in town a few weekends ago to visit with her friends and her father. She'd told me she would be here, and that she'd give me a call if she got some time to see me. It was the first time I'd seen her since before our break up, and I was very nervous because I wasn't really sure what to expect. Luckily, everything went well and we ended up spending a little bit of time together. It was nice being around her again. I realized that I wasn't as over her as I thought I was, and she had a similar reaction. Unfortunately, I only got to spend two evenings with her before she had to go back home, but all things considered, they were two very good evenings.

We've been in contact a lot more regularly over the past few weeks. I don't want to complain about that, because we agreed to still be friends after we broke up, but it's been good enough to have me seriously thinking about whether it would be worth it to get back together with her. Long distance relationships suck, but at the same time, when you find someone that you're compatible with it can still be worth it. After all, good matches are hard to find. I decided that I was going to tell her that I thought we should give it another try, but when I brought it up, she told me that she had just decided not to. She's tired of long distance relationships, and would prefer a boyfriend she could actually spend some time with. She'd been trying to get the nerve to tell me that for about a week, but didn't know how to bring it up because she didn't want to hurt me. Of course, being the retard that I am, I took the fact that she was calling me more regularly as a sign that she was thinking along the same lines as I was. Boy was I mistaken.

Needless to say, I'm in a horrible mood today. I don't know if I'll ever be able to read a woman correctly because I obviously haven't figured it out yet. I can't hold it against her, she didn't do or say anything to lead me on, I just have a tendency to read the wrong things into what other people say and do. As pessimistic as I am about most things in life, you'd think I'd save a little of that for love.

(note: before you leave a comment with encouragement telling me how it will all be o.k., and that she's not worth it, you should know that I don't want to hear it. She's still a good friend, and we're not going to stop talking to each other because of this. At least once I stop my moping around)