I asked a painter why the roads are colored black . . .

Here you have it, random thoughts I had while I was in Oregon:

• Should you really name your town as part of a valley when it's on the beach?
• When you go for a walk with your wife/girlfriend, and you're riding a Segway while she walks, it doesn't really count as being romantic.
• How did totem pole artists obtain that position? Was it the prehistoric American Idol?
• Sometimes jeans, a jacket and tennis shoes aren't enough to protect you from brambles.
• I can still hold my breath for over a mile while traveling 70 mph.
• Cows are stupid. Especially inbred cows that only have one horn that's growing out of the middle of their head.
• Is it ok to use viking ship decorations for your business when you're on the west coast?
• If I die along a roadside do not put up a cross at that location.
• Semi drivers that pass other semis while going up a hill when they're only traveling 1 mph faster than the semi they're passing ought to have their licenses revoked.
• I've been on dirt roads that are smoother than I-84 south of Boise, ID.
• Roadkill porcupine is nasty.
• When you see mile marker posts on the side of the road, and think they're listing the new speed limit, it's probably time to pull over and sleep.
• There are no hot girls in Oregon.
• If your name is B. J. and you own a store, you probably shouldn't name it after yourself unless you want people to see the sign that reads 'B. J.'s Quilts and Crafts' and think "finally, a place where I can get all three."
• The forest along the coast is very beautiful, in part because the undergrowth is so thick. Thick enough to hide a body in if necessary. Dumping bodies in the desert is sooo last year.
• When you pull off the side of the road and see a sign that reads 'Next Rest Area 7 Miles' it probably means that you should wait and pee there, but I didn't.