Friday, February 23, 2007

What it takes to wanna be a man

I got a letter from my sister-in-law the other day. She said that she and one of her neighbors were looking through some pictures and there were a few of me. Her neighbor asked if it would be alright if she wrote me a letter. She and my brother decided that "it wouldn't hurt" and that I "might like a pen pal." In other words, they're trying to set me up with this girl.

There was a letter from the girl enclosed. She is a year younger than me and has three kids. She likes to "read, garden, fish, hike, camp, and would really like to go hunting someday." She then told me about how much she likes to fish, can bait her own hook, clean and filet the fish, but never learned how to cook them. That's great and all, but personally I think those are talents that she should share with someone who fishes with bait.

(You see, I tend to be a bit of an elitist, and by that I mean I'm an arrogant prick, and by that I mean I'm better than everyone else. I enjoy flyfishing , but that's about it. Fishing with anything else is boring, and fishing with live bait seems a bit like cheating. So in summary, flyfishing = high class, bait fishing = white trash, I = awesome. Anyway, on with the story.)

At the end of the girl's letter she told me that she had enclosed some pictures of herself and that she hoped I liked what I saw. Sure enough, there were three pictures in the envelope, but I didn't exactly like what I saw.

I think I'm going to have to explain my rules for dating to my brother. Also, I have to add one more rule to the list - In order to consider dating someone, I must be able to look at a picture of them without recoiling in horror while fighting the urge to vomit.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did you mean eligerist, or elitist? I get the two confused.
AP

Anonymous said...

And by bragging herself up about what a great fisherman she was...
because she probably saw pics of you fishing...
GET YOUR OWN HOBBIES GIRLS!
I really doubt guys are looking for another buddy. They have buddies. They are looking for a girlfriend. I have fished, but I won't pretend it's my favorite hobby, although once a year or so it's fun.
p.s. I hope she doesn't read your blog.....

Anonymous said...

Holy crap. She sent you a LETTER. Like... in the MAIL? wtf I thought single people were into internet dating. I mean at least that way she could have photo shopped the picture to be less horrifying...

wait. is she eleven or something?

Anonymous said...

Starlet...his rules for dating are as follows. N.M. really needs to blog his rules, or if he has already, put a new link so we can all read them.
One of them is the girl has to be closer to him in age than his daughter. (His daughter is EEK! almost 13) N.M. is probably 31...
You can see the dilemma...
:)

Anonymous said...

Another rule is that she can't ever want to get married, want more children...etc...etc...
:)

PsychDoctor said...

I think I know the girl you are talking about...she might be the one that was there when I stopped by on my birthday. She was wearing a CSI Las Vegas, black hat with huge white lettering. The brim was flat, and the hat sat on top of her head like a brick. She had no makeup that I could see except some dark mascara and bright, unnatural looking lipstick. (I almost typed limpstick, and I think that is the effect she would have in the bedroom) She also seemed like the epitome of WT. She and our S-in-law went in the other room and I thought they might be using Meth, but instead, they were probably looking at pictures of you as I am no longer on the market... :)

We must be elitist snobs, but how does she think that would ever work out? I mean, I know what my class is and I date women of a similar echelon. I just don't think WT mixes well with Ph.D.

PsychDoctor said...

P.S. Can you please, please, PLEASE scan a photo of her and post it on the blog, or at least email it to me? Thanks...

Inklings said...

Were you about to vomit because of her, or from looking ather three kids?

Anonymous said...

Quote from PI
They were probably looking at pictures of you as I am no longer on the market...

OR...

Maybe she wasn't interested in you at all...and was only interested in NM to begin with.

OR...

Maybe everyone doesn't think you are all that and they were using meth...

OR...

you get my point. You have a huge ego, PI...and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

Anonymous said...

And I do not approve of the epitome of WT...
That is my line..stop using it.
:)

Anonymous said...

Glad you think I have such a huge ego...

Have you seen the pictures of the girl? Have you seen our brother's neighbors? Have you ever been to his neighborhood and seen the poverty around there? Why does it have to mean that I have a huge ego because I hypothesized that maybe when "Tabitha" saw me, found out I just earned my Ph.D., etc. might have started thinking about hooking up with one of our older brother's eligible, successful brothers...I was joking when I wrote "because I am no longer on the market." And, what I wrote doesn't imply that I think I am "all that"

What I wrote is a plausible, though merely hypothesized, version of what might have occurred.