Saturday, February 24, 2007

I promise not to mind if you go your way and I go mine

I was going to scan the letter I got and post it today so that you all could read it. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out that well so I'll just transcribe it for you instead. I'm particularly fond of the punctuation (or lack thereof).
[Native Minnow],

Hi
Im sure your wondering who I am and why Im writing you.
Im a friend of [oldest brother] and [his wife] I've heard about you from them and seen a couple pictures of you. I asked [oldest brother] and [his wife] if I could write to you and say hi. They didnt see any harm in it and so here's my letter to you.

My name is [Tabatha], I'm 30 yrs old I work full time at a Residential Treatment center for teenagers, a job I find very rewarding. I like to read, garden, fish, hike, camp and would really like to go hunting someday. I enjoy fishing, I can bait my own hook set up the line, clean the fish and filet the fish - but I never learned how to COOK the fish - LOL. One night my mom and I went fishing and caught a 10 lbs cat fish, talk about hard to kill, we finally gave up because we felt bad for it. Threw him in the ice chest and took him back to the river. Silly huh? I'm an animal lover so I don't want to see any animal suffer.

Oh [oldest brother] told me you passed your oral exam - congrats - thats fantastic. I hope you celebrated all night afterwards.

So if you dont mind telling me what other hobbies do you have

[Oldest Brother] said you're very busy with school and work, so I understand if you are too busy to respond.

I've enclosed three pictures of me taken 2 months ago I hope you like what you see and I hope we get a chance to get to know each other better.

Have a good day, [Native Minnow].
Sincerely,

[Tabatha]
[address and phone number]

Against my better judgement, I've also scanned the pictures she sent. I've done this for two reasons: 1) Peer pressure. I've had several of you email me and ask to see, so here you go. Just remember, you asked for it. 2) I need to prove that I wasn't just being mean when I said that it made me "recoil in horror and fight the urge to vomit." It was an honest statement. Oh, and I'm not responsible for cleaning up the mess if any of you actually do vomit.


*****************************EDIT*****************************

I received a rare visit from my conscience and have decided to take the pictures down. It was mean and I'd hate for her to find out about it somehow. I hope you all got a chance to see how bad it was though.

15 comments:

ver girl said...

Oh Dear Lord.

a) nice pleather.
b) whats that thing on her head?
c) do people really send half-naked pictures of themselves when they want to indicate interest? Is this where I'm going wrong with my life?
d) self confidence or delusion? Hmmm....

Aberrent Centrarchid said...

You are mean.

lauren said...

She's not your type. At all.

Ryan said...

I'm going to have a serious talk with my girlfriend as to why she keeps emailing strangers her picture.

I thought she was happy here?

I'm also hoping to God she doesn't read this comment.

Anonymous said...

You mean, she's trying to play it off like she didn't take pictures in her sexiest red bra just for you... but solely for her own entertainment two months ago? Aw, bless her heart!

Lightning Strikes said...

Well I won't try to be so mean, but can you say DESPERATE??? Honestly how can you stoop so low??

Kris said...

Here's the story
of a lovely lady
Who was bringing up 3 very lovely girls
All of them had hair of gold
Like their mother
The youngest one in curls

Here's the story
of a man named Brady
Who was busy with three boys of his own
They were four men
Living all together, but they were all alone

Till the one day when the lady sent her picture to this fellow,
and they knew they was much more than a hunch.
That this group,
Must somehow form a family.
That's the way they became the Brady Bunch

Anonymous said...

Yep...it is CSI hat girl...

I wonder who took the picture [oldest brother] or [sister-in-law]...of course given her background maybe we will have a new sister-in-law? Hee hee...

Actually, this is kind of mean. If she finds out, she sounds like the type of girl that will figure out how to kill a man, even if she couldn't kill a catfish. :)

Maybe delete the post in a day or two???

PI

Anonymous said...

Throw up did rise to the back of my throat, but I was able to supress it. What is your oldest brother thinking? She looks fresh out of a Nascar/World Wrestling magazine. The attire for the photos was probably sparked by your sister-in-law, she probably thought it was sexy. That's how I see her and your brother, anyway, finding that sexy. Sorry, I think that you are better off sticking to finding someone on your own.

Anonymous said...

please, please, PLEASE write a blog about your dating requirements so that we'll all know whether to send more letters with pics your way.
:)

Delirious said...

I'm so bad.....I can think of a bunch of other similar girls who would LOVE to write to you. But you are family, and I think that would just be too mean, so I'll just suffer and not line you up with them. In the mean time I'll have a good chuckle at your expense. :P

Anonymous said...

Kay...
are you going to write her back?

Michelle said...

Well, umm...to give the benefit of the doubt here, I'm sure she is nice enough (unless your brother secretly thinks Mommy loves you more and hates you deep down), but anyway, my fist impression of the pictures is desperation. On a bed with her bra showing?

Seriously, was your brother curtailing his laughter any when telling you about the girl? Or, is that the real you....pleather wearing, assless chap showing, man of the fish kind of guy....

I've completely lost my point here...well, are you writing her back?

deputymomof6 said...

His brother was probably NOT laughing, that is the kind of girl he would like. He's a brother that is a little different from the rest of the family. He's nice enough, and his intentions were good, but he obviously doesn't know Native Minnow's (or any NORMAL man's) requirements, or he never would have tried to pull this off. This could have been sparked more by the sister-in-law, too.
Honestly, I think that your other brother PI is to blame. He showed up at their house, she was checking him out but found out he was married. (Lucky guy in more ways than one....lol.) But then sister-in-law had a light bulb go off in her head about THE SINGLE BROTHER, and the rest is history.
I feel a little bad that we are all having a good laugh at her expense, but it is what she gets for being so desperate.........

PsychoIntern said...

I mean, she could have at least washed her hair for the pictures, right? Isn't clean, non-stringy hair one of your pre-requisites? PI