Friday, May 11, 2007

Let's undress just like cross-eyed strangers

Me: Oh man, there was this girl at the grocery store the other day, you should have seen her. She was gorgeous.

Him: Yeah?

Me: Yeah. I kept passing her while I was working my way through the aisles, then she ended up standing behind me in line at the checkout. She was hot. I couldn't stop looking at her. Not in a way that was too obvious of course, but still.

Him: Did she have a ring?

Me: No. That's the first thing I checked. If I had any sac at all I would have asked her if she had a boyfriend. The problem is, how do you pull that kind of thing off?

Him: I've never done that.

Me: Neither have I.

Him: Did you even talk to her?

Me: Yeah, but just small talk. I wouldn't even know how to go from "This sure is a long line" to "Can I have your number?"

Him: Oh, that's easy. You just say, "Long line huh? You want to come over later and see my long dick?"

Funny, I don't remember telling him that I was actually using the mascara.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are so perverted. I thought it was going to be about the girl that you saw in the grocery store who needed $1 but you didn't want her to think you were hitting on her so you didn't lend her one.
That was you, wasn't it?

Anonymous said...

Sometimes while reading your blog, I just think...hmmm...
I never knew what boys talked about. Now I do.

AnoMALIE said...

You wouldn't lend someone a dollar? Dude... what a jerk.. j/k

Native Minnow said...

Kris, I am perverted, no question, but just because I am doesn't necessarily mean all guys are. There are some out there who are classy, I just don't happen to be one of them.

Anomalie, the details of the story were a little different than that. Kris is referring to a time when I got in line behind a good looking girl specifically so I could look at her. When she went to pay, she realized she forgot her Vons card. I didn't offer to let her use mine b/c I didn't want her to think that I was trying to hit on her.

Vivalacrap said...

interesting. See and here I thought all guys in Vegas were creepy and hit on you inappropriately but now I see that some of them just want to be creepy and hit on you APPROPRIATELY.

PsychDoctor said...

Good observation starlet...