Saturday, March 08, 2008

That gum you like is back in style

Friend: Can I have a piece of gum?

Me: Sure. What flavor would you like?

Friend: Whichever flavor is less gay.

Me: Um. You might be out of luck there.

Friend: Why? What are my choices?

Me: Citrus mint or raspberry mint.

17 comments:

mindy said...

Man, it must be tough to be a non-gay guy. I didn't even know you had to be aware of gay gum flavors!

Bill From Gainesville said...

Gay Gum? All this time I thought gum was just asexual, thanks for the heads up, I will be on the lookout for gay gum in the future... not that theres anything wrong with that

Native Minnow said...

Honestly, I don't worry too much about it. Those are my favorite flavors, so if anybody wants to bum a piece of gum off me, that's what they're going to get. My friend just likes to take every opportunity he can to imply that other people are gay, but don't worry, I'm not afraid he's going to turn out like the Marine neighbor from American Beauty or anything like that.

The thing I do worry about is that my posting things like this gives the impression that I'm homophobic. I'm not. My ex-wife and I were the only ones who expressed our love and support to her youngest brother when he came out of the closet. Everyone else just ranted about how he was choosing to go to Hell. After her mom died, my ex-wife said that he told her he thought I was hot. It was flattering even if it might seem a little strange.

Anonymous said...

that doesn't seem strange at all Big D....love the "HUNG"arian hitchhiker

Jenny said...

Mint Citus isn't gay....

just weird.

Anonymous said...

clean mint is so much better.

Anonymous said...

No gum is gay unless it makes you talk with a lisp minnow. Duh.

AnoMALIE said...

Raspberry mint is gay??

Well, shit, that's my new knowledge for the day...
(I guess I'll have to think twice about making that the only flavor I ever have handy)

Amber said...

citrus mint is my flavor of choice too

2 Dollar Productions said...

I hope you chose citrus mint. In this scenario, the better choice, although neither sound that good.

Anonymous said...

it's all about orbit sweet mint.

Manuel said...

no pastel cherry.......hehehehehe

Bill From Gainesville said...

I dont think you are homophobic, Minnow, but did you just pull the old, "I have a gay relative thing." Kind of like when you are trying to tell someone you are not a racist so you tell them about your one black friend?... and by the way You are homophobic but that is some Gay Ass gum you carry around...

Lightning Strikes said...

Have you tried Maui Melon Mint?? That's my fav...lol Or is that one gay too?

h said...

Do you swallow or spit it out?

Nene said...

Maui Melon Mint is my favorite, but kinda hard to find.

Anonymous said...

Some of my best friends are named Bill and live in Florida...