Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Black souls in the desert

A few things I learned while at the dry lake bed last weekend:

- My car will go at least 105 mph.
- Driving 105 mph on a road at night isn't safe when there are rabbits jumping out in front of you.
- I no longer have the heart to run over rabbits that jump out in front of me.
- Not all drivers can go on rocky roads without getting high centered.
- I can.
- My car can even go offroad.
- I know better than to drive my car across the desert.
- That doesn't always stop me from doing it.
- Creosote bush grows far enough apart that my car can fit between the bushes.
- Teenagers like to race across dry lake beds at night.
- So do I.
- That doesn't make me a redneck.
- Or a teenager.
- Drinking champagne straight out of the bottle = classy.
- Drunk people are really easy to amuse.
- Nerds are fun to mock.
- Chips Ahoy chocolate chunk cookies are a big hit with the drunk bonfire crowd.
- Fire can even make me tolerate some of the people I can't stand to be around.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

the lump sum of your behavior (doctoral student status aside) suggests redneck

Keira said...

I agree, redneck. And might I add that hitting rabbits with your car at 105 mph sounds like more fun than clubbing them like we did back in the good old days. When did you turn soft? ;o)

silentkid said...

the lump sum of your behavior suggests awesome.

silentkid said...

Did anyone bring a guitar and play Third Eye Blind covers?

Karen said...

Puts me in mind of some bad coming of age movie. Sorry darl but this SCREAMS redneck :)

deputymomof6 said...

I swerve to hit bunnies that are anywhere near the road. There are too many of them, and they starve to death.... so you are doing them a favor. :)

Delirious said...

I hate to break it to you, but I would agree with the redneck summation. :P

Native Minnow said...

Anonymous, Gypsy, Delirious, you're right. I guess Ben Folds was right. You can never run away from your redneck past.

Gilbert Girl, I have gotten soft. I couldn't even fathom trying to do that again. We were such brutes (and by we I mean me).

Silent Kid, no Third Eye Blind.

Deputy Mom, last time I hit a rabbit while driving I broke a big chunk off the bottom of my mom's bumper, so now that's always in the back of my mind.

h said...

Actually, you've always struck me as being a teenager in terms of maturity and habits.

And, think about this, if you could lead people to believe you WERE a teenager, you'd be looked upon as a prodigy. With being a grad-student and all.

Perhaps 20 or 21 would do it.

Hi, I'm Minnow. Graduated High-School at 14. BS at 17. I'm now (20,21) and working on my Doctorate and employed as a (whatever it is you do).

People (including hot chicks) will be duly impressed.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Proms are wasted on teenagers. You never have an opportunity like that when you are old