Monday, February 23, 2009

They deftly maneuver and muscle for rank

As long as I've been driving, I've been aware that there are some drivers out there who believe that they are better than everyone else. They think that their time is more important, and therefore they are justified in cutting people off, weaving in and out of traffic, waiting until the last possible second before merging when a lane ends, driving on the shoulder or in the turning lane for extended periods, etc.

Recently, I've conducted an observational study on Las Vegas traffic patterns in order to determine the types of people who behave in such a way. I've made mental notes* about the types of vehicles that I most commonly see doing any of the aforementioned things. To determine if there is a financial component to such behavior, I assigned vehicle type to one of four categories: Sport Car/Luxury Vehicle, Sport Utility Vehicle, Practical Cars (e.g., Honda Accord, Toyota Camry, etc.), and Old Cars (e.g., Ford Tempo, Geo Metro, etc.).

Results showed that there was no significant** difference between erratic drivers in Sport/Luxury Cars and those in SUVs (p=0.4556). However, there was a significant difference in bad driving between both those groups and drivers in practical cars, as well as drivers in old cars (p<0.0001).



These findings are even more astounding when one considers the proportion of each of these vehicle categories with respect to the total number of vehicles on the road. While Sport/Luxury Cars only make up a small percentage of the number of vehicles on the road, the number of observed instances where those drivers behaved badly was high. Moreover, even though the proportion of SUVs and practical cars on the road was approximately the same, SUV drivers were one and a half times as likely to drive badly.



Since Sport/Luxury Cars and SUVs are far more expensive than practical (and old) cars tend to be, I am left with the conclusion that rich people are assholes.








*This study is based strictly on anecdotal evidence.

**All statistics are fabricated.

17 comments:

Dee Ice Hole said...

No matter what the evidence used to determine the outcome your conclusions are 100% correct---just like temperature is the critical limiting factor in fish growth. Just like some dumb guy told you many years ago.

Boxer said...

Well done, even if your stats were fabricated. I read recently that most road rage is done by Soccer Mom's in big dumb cars. They feel empowered behind the wheel and take their aggressions out on other drivers.

repliderium.com said...

Nice charts. You should take up drinking heavily.

AnoMALIE said...

hahaha! This entertained me greatly...
But...
I guess I'm an asshole?
Fair enough...

silentkid said...

Worst Drivers Ever:

1. Dudes in pickup trucks.

2. Chicks in Civics.

Heff said...

Fabricated or not, I agree with this "study".

BSH ADMIN said...

I love a good chart. Can you make one to track your homosexual tendencies next?

Amber said...

i also think people in SUVs drive badly because their car is bigger than yours and if you will get out of their way in fear and if you don't their car will suffer much less damage being the bigger of the two

Amber said...

also one of my friends used to drive the small Hummer and I must admit to feeling superior to others when riding in it because it was like a tank and so much higher than the other cars.

Manuel said...

oooh show us your desk.....

http://desked.wordpress.com/

CHEF TROLL said...

Damn it. I was hoping this was more than gadankenexperiment and the stats were valid.


My personal favorites are the "I'm not sure where my turn-off is, so I will slow to a crawl looking out for it because it would ruin my life to pass it by and have to turn around or pull into the parking lot next door, so fuck the long line of cars stuck behind me for miles".

They are invariably females and fat but I've not noted a similarity in car-type. I suspect they got directions from other females who told them "there's a white house and a big tree on the left" instead of giving them the FUCKING ADDRESS and nearest Cross Street.

steph said...

even if fabricated, it seems dead on to me.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Statistics like that are so honest because you can make a statistic tell you anything so by completely fabricating them you have made those particular statistics much more truthfull

Anonymous said...

If I owe more taxes, then you owe me

2 Dollar Productions said...

I can believe this as traffic is something that irritates the hell out of me, almost on a daily basis.

There are few sins worse than running a turn lane all the way until the end to only cut in front of everyone who's waiting in line since it implies some very ugly things.

I would have guessed SUVs would be near the very top.

AnoMALIE said...

Chef Troll's comment is my favorite... that had me laughing until it hurt!

PsychDoctor said...

I think if you are late getting to the airport, rushing a severely injured person to the hospital, or about to give birth in a car, you are allowed to butt in line in the lane that is ending...but only for those three things...