Sunday, October 19, 2008

You can go ahead and get married and this'll be our secret thing

I attended the most ridiculous wedding ever over the weekend. I wish that words could do it justice, but there's no possible way that they can. Regardless, here are some highlights of the day:

- Two Elvis impersonators sang at the wedding ceremony, which in turn was held in a Vegas wedding chapel.

- The "limo" that transported everyone from the hotel to the chapel and back had not one, but two, stripper poles. They were put to use.

- A real live porn actress was in attendance. She looked like she had a lot of miles on her, but I still would've. Well, except for two things: 1) I ain't got no game, and 2) two of my sisters were there. It was probably more 1 than 2.

- A tour bus slowed to a nearly complete stop so its passengers could take pictures of us while we were taking pictures of ourselves at the Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas sign.

- Someone pointed out that I looked "like a young Bill Clinton" and the bride promptly offered to be my Monica. I said, "Finally, having Bill Clinton as a doppelganger has paid off. Does anyone have a cigar?" Then I apologized to the groom. He said it was unnecessary.

- I overheard someone say, "It's not incest if you only think about it."

- Everyone was told to wear gaudy Vegas attire, so several people, myself included, wore outfits purchased at a store called 'Players' although it could just as easily have been called 'Pimps'. But don't take my word for it, see for yourself:




I wish I could post more pictures, but I don't know how the others would feel about it.

15 comments:

Karen said...

Sounds classy. Would have loved to seen pics of the happy couple.

steph said...

That is awesome! And Fun!

I once went to a wedding on Staten Island that had fog machines, dancers to lead the crowd, videos, flashing lights, flashing food tables, and probably the chessiest wedding guests imaginable. Rather than something I want to post pictures of, it is something I need to forget.

Lillie said...

Can I be your Hillary? We could buy a house in Chappaqua and live together in a loveless, joyless, politically ambitious farce of a relationship. You'll put your money into black transvestite prostitutes, and I'll get subtle, tasteful plastic surgery.

What do you say?

h said...

I think we can safely assume Bill Clinton has several off-spring around your age.

Jenny said...

Bon Jovi was married there?

You know, I've been to worse and it wasn't in Vegas. At least the couple has a sense of humor... or maybe just really bad taste. But I love your hat, you can do Mr.Pimpy.

~Kris said...

You need to post the pic of you on the pole, at least...

silentkid said...

Could you post some pics with boobies in them. I would appreciate that.

Heff said...

Hell ANY more pictures of that fiasco would be appreciated !

Native Minnow said...

Gypsy, check your email.

Steph, I forgot to mention that there were lasers flashing in the limo as well.

Sea Hag, I'd say, "I do!"

Troll, I'll have to have a talk with my mom.

AB, if you can't believe the sign, who can you believe?

Epitome of Sweetness, I don't have that one. Tennis Girl does though.

Silent Kid, my boobies aren't big enough, or what?

Heff, some of the people there already commented about how they don't like the idea of their picture being online, so I'd hate to post them to find out they're horrified by the thought.

AnoMALIE said...

hahaha... I see the pictures and think of that one commercial "Jacobi's... home of the three suit special!" (what, am I the only one who pays attention to local commercials? Maybe I'm just the only one who has yet to acquire a DVR to skip through commercials)

P.S. Why aren't any of you sporting a cane? C'mon, man!

Bill From Gainesville said...

Wow, what an awesome wedding... I also want some more pictures Send them to me at WERTHERBILL@YAHOO.COM

deputymomof6 said...

I don't know what to say about that. I think that pictures say it all....

You are a hot pimp, though.

Lightning Strikes said...

I gotta say I love the hat!! I'm a little jealous that I didn't get to go haha! I bet it was tons of fun though!!

mindy said...

sounds like quite the event. but I must say, you look pretty smooth.

Dee Ice Hole said...

I looked at your pictures and remembered when (you were a little too old to be doing it) you and your friends were playing with AK-47 toys---too bad you didn't have one for the picture. LMAO