Sunday, February 08, 2009

My friends are talkin' and they're tellin' you, "Just leave him alone 'cause the boy's bad news."

Saturday night I saw Eagles of Death Metal play at the Hard Rock. They weren't the main draw of the night. No, that would be Motley Crue who were closing out The Joint, and filling the casino with butt rockers as they did so. We were on the other side of the casino, with the cool kids. By cool kids, I mean me and my friend who came to town for the show.

If you've never heard of Eagles of Death Metal, these pictures should tell you just about everything you need to know.

They're ridiculous, but they embrace their ridiculousness. This is obvious when you listen to some of their lyrics. Things such as "I want you so hard, I want you so good", "I can raz-a-ma-taz you honey if you want me to", "I used to didn't dance too good", "I'll tell you anything baby except the truth", "I can be your daddy, be your rock 'n rolla', you can be my baby be my cherry cola", "shit goddamn I'm a man I'm a man", and my personal favorite "guitar like a monkey gonna lick your brain".

To be honest, I didn't really feel like going to the show based on recent events, but I'm glad I did. I think they're better live than they are on their albums. Besides, it helped me not think of rejection for a few hours. Always a plus.

Some highlights of the evening

- We thought we were late for the concert, but then walked right past the lead singer on the casino floor.

- Text messaging SilentKid:
Me: [Friend] wants to find some fat chicks to make out with*.
SilentKid: You guys suck.
Me: On fat chicks.

- Seeing the band take the stage with one of them wearing a shirt that read "68: you blow me and I'll owe you one."

- The lead singer breaking out a comb and running it through his ridiculous mustache while giving the crowd a seductive look.

- Standing next to a hot Asian chick with red hair for most of the show. We almost had a real audible connection.

- Seeing the lead singer accidentally hit the other guitar player in the face with his guitar.

- A fat chick** in the audience started a fight with another woman. It could well be the best thing I've ever witnessed***.

- After messing up on one of the songs, the lead singer asked the crowd, "If I fuck up the words, will you promise not to hold it against me as long as I promise to shake my dick just right?"

*SilentKid and my other friend came to Vegas for a weekend when I first moved here. I've seen SilentKid many times since then, but this was the first I'd seen my other friend. That weekend he made me and SilentKid wait on The Strip until 1 a.m. so he could go to a casino that offered $1 margaritas. His plan was to get five for $5 and slam them one after the other. He carried out the plan, but the margaritas were so small, it was really only like pounding one. Talk about anti-climactic. The only thing that made it worth it to the rest of us was that we got flashed by a woman in a taxi cab while walking to the casino. You've got to love Vegas. He's also the guy that inadvertently started my infatuation with Asian women, but that's a story for another time. All throughout the weekend he kept saying how he wanted to "get drunk and find some fat chicks to make out with." He didn't remember that when I reminded him of it, and said that was one reason why it was good that he quit drinking.

**I didn't make out with her, nor did my friend.

***A little hyperbole there for you.


CHEF TROLL said...

I see Judas Priest has a contender for their Gheyest Pseudo-Metal Band of All Time throne.

You were probably quite wise not to make out with the fat chick or the Asian Trannie with red hair.

Michael said...

Would it kill you to have used an umlat in Crüe, for Pete's sake?

Overall, sounds like a fun time. Wish I could've seen that fat chick fight.

silentkid said...

Ah, those $1 frozen margaritas. And then the boy would wander off. He'd just leave and we'd look all over for him. The drunken wanderer. I'm glad the show was fun. I wish I didn't spend all my money on useless things so I could have been there. Oh well. Did you guys munch any Burger Pipe?

Boxer said...

One of the reasons I love to attend live boxing matches is the audience is often more interesting than the main attraction. I've seen women toss drinks at each other and threatening to slam into a chair. It's also why I never actually use the restrooms at these places either, but that's another story, too.

Chin up, handsome, you're gonna be just fine.

Bill From Gainesville said...

Sometimes when the other teams pitcher throws a dust back pitch and you have to hit the dirt the best thing to do is to just dust yourself off and go to a heavy metal concert said...

Bad public mustache comb combined with leering look. I think I just fell in love.