I want you to wander silent past my outstretched arms

Delta Spirit - California

I want you to move to California for yourself

I want you to find whatever your heart needs

I want you to move to California for yourself

But not for me

I want you to go out there and find somebody else

I want him to treat you like I know he should

I want you to find somebody new for yourself

If not for me

Ooooohhhhh ooooooohhhhhh

Ooooohhhhh ooooooohhhhhh

What of the feelings that I know you never felt

And all of the simple words you never said

I want you to keep them like a secret to yourself

They're not for me

I want you to wander silent past my outstretched arms

I want you to hide yourself from all I see

And though my heart will fight until its dying breath

You're not for me

Ooooohhhhh ooooooohhhhhh

Ooooohhhhh ooooooohhhhhh

I want you to move to California for yourself

I want you to find whatever your heart needs

I want you to move to California for yourself

But not for me

Deer Tick - Ashamed

I am the boy your mother wanted you to meet

But I am broken and torn with heels at my feet

And with your purest light why don't you shine on me?

Well, I should've been an angel

But I'm too dumb to speak

Now as she gets nearer the visions get clearer

I'll kneel and weep and I will hold her dear

Oh, if your eyes water you've got your favorite number to spin

And oh, oh

What a crying shame

A crying shame

What we became

Murdered my throat screaming bloody all night

Hit him with a book and how he crumbles

Oh you should have seen how the arches tumble

They're golden no more and now I'm smiling in my blood

I'm caught in a whirlwind

I'm goin' to heaven

I'm standing on trial and it's painted on canvas

An eternal testament to how we are so animalistic

And oh, oh

What a crying shame

A crying shame

What we became

I bowed my head in the morning light and said goodnight

I held her hand and I, I kissed her eyes

Stumbled down the stairs and hang myself on high

And I started for the town that I have a front yard

And died

When it hits me that she's gone

Middle Brother - Million Dollar Bill

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll run for President
Get my face put on the million dollar bill
So when these rich men that she wants
Show her ways they can take care of her
I'll have found a way to be there with her still

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll be an astronaut
Make the moon my home and leave this world behind
So when she steps out into the night
To find some light that makes her pretty
She'll be facing me every time she shines

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

When it hits me that she's left me alone
When I finally move on with my life
Her goodbye written into stone
And her shadow grown into a night

When it hits me that she's gone
I think I'll be a movie star
Play the finest man the world has ever seen
So when the lovers that she's found
Show her ways they learned to talk to her
Behind each perfect word will be a little bit of me

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh Ooooooh

Beaten six ways to Sunday

Local H - What would you have me do?
Can you just go home defeated
Take your pride and eat it
Crawl back beaten
Sources are depleted
Can you take the final hit and admit that you were wrong?

Don't even call it even
Bleedin' is believin'
Former well bein'
We're closing for the season
Can you take the final hit and admit that you don't belong?

Beaten six ways to Sunday
Beaten six ways to Sunday now
You're gonna have to leave it
You know you'll never need it
Wait'll you see what we've planned for you
And it's heinous
So come on come on comeuppance
You really are the star of the show right now
It's sad and strange and kinda strange when clichés are true
Beaten six ways to Sunday
Beaten six ways to Sunday now
And I am sorry to enjoy this
But what would you have me do?
What would you have me do?

Can you just go home hated
Half intoxicated
Hopelessly outdated
And not appreciated
Can you take the final blow and know that you fucked up?

Go state the overstated
Keep it complicated
The overeducated
That hope you'll never make it
Can you take the final blow and know they won't be shutting up?

We're beaten six ways to Sunday
Beaten six ways to Sunday now
You're gonna have to leave it
You know you'll never need it
Wait'll you see what we've planned for you
And it's heinous
So come on come on comeuppance
You really are the star of the show right now
It's sad and strange but kinda strange when clichés are true
We're beaten six ways to Sunday
Beaten six ways to Sunday now
And I am sorry to enjoy this
But what would you have me do?

Baby's out of town
But I see the light on
What are you up to now?
Headin' for the gun I can see rock bottom
No one will help you now
We're beaten six ways to Sunday
Beaten six ways to Sunday now
You're gonna have to leave it
You know you'll never need it
Everything has been cut and dried for you

And it's heinous
So come on come on comeuppance
You really are the star of the show right now
It's sad and strange but kinda strange when clichés are true
Yeah
We're beaten six ways to Sunday
Beaten six ways to Sunday now
And I am sorry to enjoy this
But what would you have me do?
What would you have me do?
What would you have me do?
What would you have me do?
What would you have me do?

What would you have me do?
Beaten six ways to Sunday
Beaten six ways to Sunday
We're beaten six ways to Sunday
Beaten six ways to Sunday
Beaten six ways to Sunday
We're beaten six ways to Sunday

Hold tight
It's New Year's Eve
And we'll be cold tonight
We'll kill the heat
And shut out all the lights
Cut the phone line too
Alright
We don't need nothing but cyanide
Pulled our teeth won't be identified
What would you have me do?

You got it
Hold tight
It's New Year's Eve
And we'll be cold tonight
We'll kill the heat
And shut out all the lights
Cut the phone line too
(you got it)
Alright
We don't need nothing (you got it) but cyanide
Pulled our teeth (you got it) won't be identified
What would you (you got it) have me do?

You got it
Hold tight
It's New Year's Eve (you got it)
And we'll be cold tonight
We'll kill the heat (you got it)
And shut out all the lights
Cut the phone line (you got it) too
(You got it)
Alright
We don't need nothing (you got it) but cyanide
Pulled our teeth (you got it) won't be identified
What would you have (you got it) me do?
(you got it)

[Repeated several more times]

I'm working on erasing you I just don't have the proper tools

Did you come here to be depressed today? If so, you're in luck! Check this song out. (As usual, ther's a YouTube clip at the bottom if you want to listen as you read along.)

Frightened Rabbit - My Backwards Walk
I'm working on my backwards walk
Walking with no shoes or socks
And the time rewinds to the end of May
I wish we'd never met then met today

I'm working on my faults and cracks
Filling in the blanks and gaps
And when I write them out they don't make sense
I need you to pencil in the rest

I'm working on drawing a straight line
And I'll draw until I get one right
It's bold and dark girl can't you see
I've done drawn a line between you and me

I'm working on erasing you
I just don't have the proper tools
I get hammered forget that you exist
There's no way I'm forgetting this

I'm working hard on walking out
Shoes keep sticking to the ground
My clothes won't let me close the door
These trousers seem to love your floor

I've been working on my backwards walk
There's nowhere else for me to go
Except back to you just one last time
Say yes before I change my mind

Say yes before I
You're the shit and I'm knee deep in it
You're the shit and I'm knee deep in it girl
You're the shit and I'm knee deep in it
You're the shit and I'm knee deep in it girl

You're the shit and I'm knee deep in it
You're the shit and I'm knee deep in it girl
You're the shit and I'm knee deep in it
You're the shit and I'm knee deep in it girl






Well? Did it do the trick? It seems to have worked for me.

Turn on, tune in, drop out, give up with me

Another one of those songs that seems to have come along at just the right time for me. This time it's by Cracker, from their new album Sunrise In The Land Of Milk And Honey.

Come on, turn on, tune in with me
Baby you need a break so let's just run away
Well I'm tired of coding perl, tired of VBA
Maggie throw your lawbooks away
Turn on, tune in, drop out, give up with me

Now picture this

I'm shopping in town for our homemade Agrarian fortress
You're texting: Corian, granite or tile kitchenette in the gun nest?
Well we'll find a little meadow high up in the Cascades
Baby we won't ever come down
Turn on, tune in, drop out, give up with me

Turn on
Tune in
Drop out
With me
The whole thing's coming down so let's just get out of the way
Well I'm not paranoid there is no conspiracy
But I swear Big Brother's watching me
Turn on, tune in, drop out, give up with me

So you're serving apertifs to the local survivalist militia
In camouflage you're fine but the locals still call you Morticia
Well we'll find a little meadow high up in the Cascades
Baby we won't ever come down
Turn on, tune in, drop out, give up with me

Buy a little cabin in the Adirondacks
Baby they'll never find us
Turn on, tune in, drop out, give up with me

Hand stick out teepee
Windy east Mojave
Watching for black helicopters
Turn on, tune in, drop out, give up with me.

My friends are talkin' and they're tellin' you, "Just leave him alone 'cause the boy's bad news."

Saturday night I saw Eagles of Death Metal play at the Hard Rock. They weren't the main draw of the night. No, that would be Motley Crue who were closing out The Joint, and filling the casino with butt rockers as they did so. We were on the other side of the casino, with the cool kids. By cool kids, I mean me and my friend who came to town for the show.

If you've never heard of Eagles of Death Metal, these pictures should tell you just about everything you need to know.




They're ridiculous, but they embrace their ridiculousness. This is obvious when you listen to some of their lyrics. Things such as "I want you so hard, I want you so good", "I can raz-a-ma-taz you honey if you want me to", "I used to didn't dance too good", "I'll tell you anything baby except the truth", "I can be your daddy, be your rock 'n rolla', you can be my baby be my cherry cola", "shit goddamn I'm a man I'm a man", and my personal favorite "guitar like a monkey gonna lick your brain".

To be honest, I didn't really feel like going to the show based on recent events, but I'm glad I did. I think they're better live than they are on their albums. Besides, it helped me not think of rejection for a few hours. Always a plus.

Some highlights of the evening

- We thought we were late for the concert, but then walked right past the lead singer on the casino floor.

- Text messaging SilentKid:
Me: [Friend] wants to find some fat chicks to make out with*.
SilentKid: You guys suck.
Me: On fat chicks.

- Seeing the band take the stage with one of them wearing a shirt that read "68: you blow me and I'll owe you one."

- The lead singer breaking out a comb and running it through his ridiculous mustache while giving the crowd a seductive look.

- Standing next to a hot Asian chick with red hair for most of the show. We almost had a real audible connection.

- Seeing the lead singer accidentally hit the other guitar player in the face with his guitar.

- A fat chick** in the audience started a fight with another woman. It could well be the best thing I've ever witnessed***.

- After messing up on one of the songs, the lead singer asked the crowd, "If I fuck up the words, will you promise not to hold it against me as long as I promise to shake my dick just right?"











*SilentKid and my other friend came to Vegas for a weekend when I first moved here. I've seen SilentKid many times since then, but this was the first I'd seen my other friend. That weekend he made me and SilentKid wait on The Strip until 1 a.m. so he could go to a casino that offered $1 margaritas. His plan was to get five for $5 and slam them one after the other. He carried out the plan, but the margaritas were so small, it was really only like pounding one. Talk about anti-climactic. The only thing that made it worth it to the rest of us was that we got flashed by a woman in a taxi cab while walking to the casino. You've got to love Vegas. He's also the guy that inadvertently started my infatuation with Asian women, but that's a story for another time. All throughout the weekend he kept saying how he wanted to "get drunk and find some fat chicks to make out with." He didn't remember that when I reminded him of it, and said that was one reason why it was good that he quit drinking.

**I didn't make out with her, nor did my friend.

***A little hyperbole there for you.

Love me now while we're alive, it's the best thing we can do

Here's a song reminding you to live it up this weekend, because you never know when the Devil's going to come around to collect his debt. Enjoy!

**EDIT**
The mp3 player isn't working properly, so I'll just post the link for the download instead if you're interested in hearing the studio version.
**End Edit**

Great Big Sea - Straight To Hell
Love me now while we're alive
It's the best thing we can do
We'll have no time upon cloud nine
So heaven on earth'll have to do
I can sing like a bird and dance like a demon
And I do it all so well
'Cause I made a deal with the Devil and when I die
I'm going straight to Hell

Standing at the crossroads
He offered wine, women and song
Riches, fame and fortune in my hands from that day on
I was granted there and then a life of rock and roll
And it seemed like such a bargain
For just one eternal soul
I know I'll curse this damn decision
And I'll regret it 'til the moment I fall
But I'll be makin' the most of a bad situation
Until my number's called

Love me now while we're alive
It's the best thing we can do
We'll have no time upon cloud nine
Heaven on earth'll have to do
I can sing like a bird and dance like a demon
and I do it all so well
'Cause I made a deal with the devil
and when I die I'm goin' straight to Hell
Oh yeah, I'm goin' straight to Hell

There's times I swear I've come out on top
In this ill conceived contract
And there's nights I say
"It's a small price to pay for the life and times I've had"
And I think "Here's to the gents and ladies
And all the foolish times we spent"
They cost me afterlife in paradise
And they were worth every single cent
So have a dance with the walking damned
Before my time is done
'Cause a deal is a deal
And I don't expect fire and brimstone will be much fun

Love me now while we're alive
It's the best thing we can do
We'll have no time upon cloud nine
Heaven on earth'll have to do
I can sing like a bird and dance like a demon
And I do it all so well
'Cause I made a deal with the devil and when I die
I'm goin' straight to Hell
Oh yeah, I'm going straight to Hell

I said straight to Hell
Go to Hell

I have every expectation
That my final prayer will go unheard
And my veiled deathbed confession
Will not move the Mighty Lord
And I'm sure that I'll be sorry
When He slams St. Peter's gate
But I'll dive right into damnation with a smile across my face.

If you love me now while we're alive
It's the best thing we can do
We'll have no time upon cloud nine
Heaven on earth'll have to do
I can sing like a bird and dance like a demon
And I do it all so well
'Cause I made a deal with the devil and when I die
I'm goin' straight to Hell
I made a deal with the devil and when I die
I'm goin' straight to Hell
Oh yeah
I'm goin' straight to Hell
Oh yeah
I'm goin' straight to Hell


Or if you'd rather see a live version:

You know I'd even learn to cut my throat if I thought I could fit in

Because I don't have anything else to write about, and because I just listened to this song last night, and because it's one of my favorite songs ever, and because it talks about vampires and slit throats and stuff, and because it's Halloween and vampires and slit throats and stuff are in fashion, and because I like writing run-on sentences, I'm just going to post the lyrics to this song today and hope you enjoy it. The end.



I could break free from the wood of a coffin if I need
But nothin's hard as gettin' free from places I've already been
I've been waste deep in the burnin' metals of my mind
In the engine
In cold December
Shootin' fire from a hose
Now turn off your lights
'Cause I'm not coming home
'Til I'm delivered for the first time

I was first born to a parade that follows in rows
Down the narrow cold black river of faceless shadows
moving slow

I would move swift when the sounds of a trumpet would blow
I've been the puppet
I've been the strings
I know the vacant face it brings

Now bells of curfew
They may ring before I'm through
But soon I'll be delivered for the first time

You might keep clean in the back of an angel motorcade
It doesn't matter who walks in you know
The joke is still the same

You'll just wake up like a disposable lover decomposed
I've been gone
I've been remembered
I've been alive
I've been a ghost

So now if downtown explodes
I'll still be on this road
'Til I'm delivered for the first time

I have drawn blood from the neckline when vampires were in fashion
You know I'd even learn to cut my throat if I thought I could fit in
'cause I once heard that you gotta learn to blend in to this mess
But nothing's hard
Nothin's precious
Nothin's smooth or flawless

Now no more amused just screaming to
Be delivered for the first time

Now I'm ten miles in the deep in the mighty blue sea
Looking back towards a long white beach burnin' up in the yellow flames

And I just wave back like a little boy up on a pony at the show
'Cause I can't fix anything this complex
Any more than I can build a rose

So just keep on letting go
'Cause I must be close
To being delivered for the first time

Now I'd rather bleed out a long stream from being lonely and feel blessed
Than drown laying face down in a puddle of respect
I was once lost in the corridors of the arena in blindfolds
I've been the bull
I've been the whip
I just bulled down a matador

So now turn on your lights
Because I'm coming home
I've been delivered for the first time

Rubbadub a tubfish

I dare you to find a song with more random lyrics than Fell Off The Floor Man by Deus. Here they are (near as I can tell), but watch the video and play along to see if you can find where I'm wrong.




Let's talk about philosophy, my philosophy
You've got to be your own, you've got to be your own dog
You know? You know what I'm talking about?
You're supposed to say yeah, it's like a James Brown thing

Got to go sniffing on your own turf
Be your own dog
Don't let nobody put a leash on you

Rubbadub a tub fish
Ping pong
Sneakin' in the dead zone
Boneyard
Sleepin' on a cat nap
Sing Song
Trimmin' off my nostril hair
Headcase
An angel in a metal cake
Car crash
Rubbin' like a pussycat
Grid lock
A stone within my eyeball
Too too
Dancin' with my socks on
Oh man
Singing like a tomtit
Stop cab
Listen to the ?????
Tip top
Entering a smoky bar room
Hey dude
Smuggling a Wombat
Rummanay
Chewin' on a necktie
Tweedo
Tumbling in the margarine
Heroin
Hidden in the ribbon grass
Too too
Acting like a baby
Head case

I don't need no thoughts in me
Don't you want to rescue me?
There's a little light below
Go there when I want to go

Wanna bite of bubblegum
Ping Pong
Tryin' to get the red shoes off
Headcase
Lickin' on my ice cream cone
Heroin
Surfing in the kitchen sink
Wellaby
Sipping on a Diet Coke
Hey Dude
Tangled in the inner crop
Tip top
Chaperone my scapegoat
Tubfish
Change a ten to fivers
Too too

Fell off the floor, fell off the floor man
Fell off the floor, fell off the floor man
Fell off the floor, fell off the floor man
Fell off the floor, fell off the floor man
Rita Hayworth
Fell off the floor, fell off the floor man
Rita Hayworth
Fell off the floor, fell off the floor man
Rita Hayworth
Fell off the floor, fell off the floor man
Rita Hayworth
Fell off the floor, fell off the floor man

Got a lot of stuff and the United Nations in there too

Go strap yourself to a Volkswagen in a weird harness
Don't try this at home
Goin' out to steal a ruby
Goin' out to steal a ruby
Lookin' like a radion
Love to do it in the dark
You know I've got a say on
(Goin' out to steal a ruby)
Fallin' off the dance floor
Succulent but sucked in
Always I'll be in for
Wanting to be tucked in
(Goin' out to steal a)
Fallin' off the same floor

[Soft muttering]

Husband's lost a lot of blood

Behold the most wonderfully depressing song ever written.

Pedro the Lion: Priests and Paramedics


(just click for sound - the picture never changes)

Lyrics:
Paramedics brave and strong
Up before the break of dawn
Putting poker faces on
Broken bodies all day long
The neighbors heard a fight
Someone had a knife
It must have been the wife
Husband's lost a lot of blood
He wakes up screaming "Oh my God.
Am I gonna die? Am I gonna die?"
As they strapped his arms down to his sides
In times like these
They've been taught to lie
"Buddy just calm down you'll be alright."
Several friends came to his grave
His children were so well behaved
As the Priest got up to speak
The assembly craved relief
But he himself had given up
So instead he offered them this bitter cup
"You're gonna die
We're all gonna die
Could be twenty years could be tonight
And lately I have been wondering why
we go to so much trouble
to postpone the unavoidable
and prolong the pain of being alive."

I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

Last night I was talking with someone who is going through a divorce. While I don't really know many of the details of hers, our conversation reminded me of a lot of the details of mine. I'm not going to revisit those, but it did remind me of what became my theme song during that time. Here are the lyrics (as best as I can tell):

Scolding Wife by Great Big Sea
Well I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago
And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe
My wife she is a tyrant around the room and in
And she'd sell me to the devil for a glass or two of gin

Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man
And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram
And if I chance to say a word it's well I know my doom
She'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

When I get up at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head
When I come home at dinner time I'll find her drunk in bed
When I come home at supper time with patience I must stop
'Cause she drinks what's in the teapot and I must drink the slops

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

Well once I asked my scolding wife if I could go to bed
She scarce gave me an hour on the pillow to lay me head
When like a roaring lion she came bustin' down the door
She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

Now me and my companions go to a public place
She'll search around the neighborhood until she finds my face
She'll hoist me up in ridicule before the company
Saying petticoats is your master and forevermore shall be

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again

And if the devil would take her
I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again
And if the devil would take her
(fades out)

Sadly, there's not a great video of it on YouTube, so this is the best of what I had to choose from:



I missed a chance to see these guys play in L.A. about two years ago. Some of my friends went, but I didn't because I would have had to drive all night and then teach the next morning on no sleep. Looking back, I wish I would have gone.

Ain't nobody that can sing like me

I got this several months ago from Ver Girl, and used it on my "other" blog, but it's kind of fun, so I decided to use it again here. I'm not going to tag anyone, because that's every bit as annoying as forwarding chain letters. If you want to use it, feel free to copy it. Otherwise, it dies here.


My life soundtrack

1) Put your music player on shuffle.
2) Press forward for each question.
3) Use the song title as the answer to the question (I've gone one step further and have added a song lyric from the song that I think fits).
4) NO CHEATING! (I was tempted to replace any repeat bands, but decided to just go with it as it was).

-My Life's Soundtrack -

1) Opening Credits:
Way over yonder in the minor key (Billy Bragg & Wilco) - "Now I've walked a long long ways, still look back to my tanglewood days"

2) Being Born:
Jimmy James (The Beastie Boys) - "People how you doin' it's a new day dawning"

3) Toddler Days:
The air near my fingers (The White Stripes) - "My Mom is so caring, she really got me staring at the crazy little things she does for sure, and I can't seem to think of another kind of love that a boy could ever get from anyone but her"

4) First Day of School:
French Perfume (Great Big Sea) - "He opened up the engines and he ran for Spanish Room"

5) Becoming a Teenager:
Crash the party (OK Go) - "While the rest of the guys are all trying, all trying so hard"

6) First Day as a Freshman:
Bleeders (The Wallflowers) - "They say you're only sad and lonely and no-one is impressed"

7) First Love:
Dime (Cake) - "You ask me how I made it through and how my mint condition could belong to you"

8) Graduation Day:
Yoshimi battles the pink robots (The Flaming Lips) - "'Cause she knows that it's demanding to defeat those evil machines"

9) Moving Out of the House:
Porcelain (Red Hot Chili Peppers) - "Are you missing the love of your kin, drifting and floating and fading away"

10) Bad Break-Up:
If he can't have you (Whiskeytown) - "If he can't have you I guess no-one else will"

11) New Love:
Disappear (INXS) - "You're so fine, lose my mind, and the world seems to disappear"

12) Getting Engaged:
I can't hide from my mind (They Might Be Giants) - "I can't hide from my mind and you know why"

13) Bachelor/Bachelorette Party:
Trains (Ryan Adams & The Cardinals) - "Seems like somethin' in me's always movin'"

14) Wedding Day:
Hard Luck Story (Whiskeytown) - "And I swore I told your daddy that I loved you but I changed my mind" or "'Cause I can leave you if I wanna Little Baby and I'm gonna tonight" (Hey, it's not the best wedding song. Luck of the draw? Fate? Remember, I'm divorced.)

15) You and Your Husband/Wife's Song:
The View (Modest Mouse) - "If life's not beautiful without pain well I'd never ever want to see beauty again"

16) Honeymoon:
The world's address (They Might Be Giants) - "Everyone looks naked when you know the world's address"

17) Having Children:
Keys to your love (The Rolling Stones) - "No matter what I do, I spend my whole life honey just thinking of you"

18) Getting Cheated On:
Would (Alice in Chains) - "If I would, could you?"

19) Getting Divorced:
Dog Paddle (Modest Mouse) - "With their fascination on what was here and what's replacing 'em now"

20) Getting Remarried:
Sin (Ozzy Osbourne) - "I saw it happening like deja vu, they tried to warn me but they couldn't get through"

21) Your Kids Growing Up and Moving Out:
Sweetness (Jimmy Eat World) - "So tell me what I need, what was this the meaning"

22) Growing Old:
Long Way Down (Pete Yorn) - "All I know is my father told me look out"

23) Your Funeral:
Mr. Self Destruct (Nine Inch Nails) - "I am the bullet in the gun, I am the truth from which you run, I am the silence you achieve, I am the end of all your dreams"

24) End Credits:
Xmas curtain (My Morning Jacket) - "Hey, the Christmas curtain falls"

No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie

Last week I used a lyric from the song Thrash Unreal by Against Me!. Since then, I've received a gazillion hits (yes, I counted) from people who are looking for song lyrics. Obviously, those people got hosed as my post was about giving rides to weird trailer trash girls who were walking home from threesomes, and not about the lyrics to the song. Anyway, here's my attempt to make that up to those gazillion people.

Here are the lyrics to the song followed by the video (you might want to play it as you read along so you can see if I've got it right):

If she wants to dance and drink all night
Well there's no-one that can stop her
She's going 'til the house lights come up
Or her stomach spills onto the floor

This night is gonna' end
When we're damn well ready for it be over
What's all week long
Now the music is playing on our time
Yeah we do what we do to get by
And then we need a release

Ba ba ba ba ba ba da da da
Ba ba ba ba ba ba da da da
Ba ba ba ba ba ba da da da
Ba ba ba ba ba ba da da da

You're getting mixed up with the wrong guys
You're getting messed up on the wrong drugs
Sometimes the party takes you places that you didn't really plan on goin'
When people see the track marks on her arm
She knows what they're thinking
She keeps on working for that minimum
As if your high school education gave you any other options
You know, they don't know nothing about redemption
They don't know nothing about recovery
Some people just aren't the type for marriage and family

No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to sleep alone
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to sleep alone

She's out of step with the style
She don't know where the action's happening
You know the downtown club scene ain't nothing like it used to be
You reach a point where there's not a lie in the world
That you could use to make the boys believe you're still in your twenties (?)
They keep getting younger don't they baby
She's not waiting for someone to come over and ask for the privilege
She can still hear the rebel yell just as loud as it was in 1983
You know there ain't no Johnny coming home to share a bed with her
And she doesn't care

No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to sleep alone
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to sleep alone
No mother ever dreams that her daughter's gonna' grow up to be a junkie

And if she had to live it all over again
You know she wouldn't change anything for the world

Ana Ng and I are getting old and we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic presence

If you there was going to be a television program about you, what band would you want to write and perform the theme song?

I'm asking you, but I also posed this question to one of the guys that I work with.

Him: I'd probably go with They Might Be Giants.
Me: That's who I'd want too. Although, Ween would probably come up with a pretty good one too.
Him: Yeah, Ween's got some weird stuff.
Me: But They Might Be Giants is one of my two favorite bands, so I'd definitely choose them over Ween.
Him: Good point. So tell me, what's your favorite They Might Be Giants' song?
Me: I can't just pick one. That's like asking me to pick my favorite child*.

However, after some deliberation, I tentatively settled on one.

Me: If I have to pick one right now, I guess I'll have to go with Ana Ng.
Him: Oh, that's a good one. It also explains a lot. That's why you're so attracted to Asian girls.
Me: Well, I'm not going to deny that I'm attracted to Asian girls, but I wouldn't way that's the reason why.
Him: I was starting to think it was some weird childhood fetish.
Me: No, it's just because so many of them are hot!

Ana Ng is an older song from Lincoln (one of their early albums), but it's definitely got staying power. Here's the music video followed by the lyrics.



Make a hole with a gun perpendicular
To the name of this town in a desktop globe
Exit wound in a foreign nation
Showing the home of the one this was written for
My apartment looks upside down from there
Water spirals the wrong way out the sink
And her voice is a backwards record
It's like a whirlpool and it never ends

CHORUS:
Ana Ng and I are getting old
And we still haven't walked in the glow of each other's majestic presence
Listen Ana hear my words
They're the ones you would think I would say if there was a me for you

All alone at the '64 world fair
Eighty dolls yelling small girl after all
Who was at the DuPont Pavilion?
Why was the bench still warm?
Who had been there?

Or the time when the storm tangled up the wire
To the horn on the pole at the bus depot
And in back at the edge of hearing
These were the words that the voice was repeating

CHORUS

When I was driving once I saw this painted on a bridge:
"I don't want the world, I just want your half."

They don't need me here and I know you're there
Where the world goes by like the humid air
And it sticks like a broken record
Everything sticks like a broken record
Everything sticks until it goes away
And the truth is we don't know anything

CHORUS (3X)





* Well, it would be if I'd fathered multiple songs over the past few decades, which I haven't, but you get the point.

I'm so tired of acting tough and I'm gonna' do as I please, let's get married

Last night I went to a wedding. I've known the couple for as long as I've lived in Vegas, and they're two of the grooviest people I've ever met. As such, their wedding was unconventional, and a LOT of fun. This couple has fully embraced the ridiculousness of Las Vegas, and worked that into the wedding ceremony. As guests arrived, they were asked to pick some costume items off a table to dress in long enough for someone to snap a polaroid picture (items included a feather boa, handcuffs, light sabres, clown noses, fake glasses, fake sideburns, dunce caps, etc.). Right next to the "costume" table was perhaps the best ice sculpture I have ever seen at a wedding.



They were married by the bride's brother-in-law, who happened to be dressed as Elvis. He even sang a few Elvis songs. There was also a little Elvis in attendance. I believe he was part of the bride's family, but am not completely sure about that. It wouldn't really be a Vegas wedding if Elvis wasn't involved somehow, and normally I would think that was tacky, but it was perfect for these two. I heard a rumor that they went to the junkyard with all the old neon signs from casinos to take some of their wedding pictures. I wouldn't be surprised at all to see that. They also gave out decks of used playing cards. A few of us played blackjack at the beginning of the reception.

Since the couple has been living together for quite some time, they said that they didn't need any gifts. In lieu of bringing a gift for them, they asked people to make a charitable donation in the amount that they would have spent. I thought that was a fantastic idea. Keeping this in mind, take a look at the center piece that was on my table at the reception:



The happy couple's first dance was to Dr. Bernice by Cracker. It's a great song, but the lyrics aren't exactly what you'd call "first dance" material:

Baby don't you drive around with Dr. Bernice
She's not a lady doctor at all
She's got hands like a man
With hair on the back
She'll crush you in her embrace

Though the wind may whisper and moan sometimes
We all need a kind place to live
Though the wind may whisper and howl at your door
We all need the comfort of friends

Baby don't you drive around with Dr. Bernice
That ain't a real Cadillac
It's a Delta 88 spray painted black
With fake leather seats from Juarez

Though the wind may whisper and moan sometimes
On a hot desert night it is still
Though the world may whisper and howl at your door
You're not obliged to let them all in

Baby don't you ride in that faux Cadillac
If you must please ride in the back
If you sing while you ride you'll be a siren tonight
Spare this poor sailor's life from the rocks

Though the wind may whisper a melody now
We can't find a tune of our own
Though the world may whisper and blow in your face
And tangle the hair on your head

On a hot desert night we can drive down the road
And the stars will spell out your name
On a hot desert night with the windows down wide
The sirens will sing me their song

And the ghost of the sailors who died on the rocks
Feel not a twinge of regret
Though the wind may tangle the hair on your head
You sing like a siren to me

On a hot desert night the caravan stops
At the oasis next to your heart
The soundtrack is played by some aged British Queen
On BBC radio world

Though the wind may whisper an epic sometime
The cast must include Karen Black
Though the symphony strings shift with the sands
You sing like a siren to me
You sing like a siren to me
You sing like a siren . . . to me.

However, it fit them perfectly. I honestly don't know if they could have picked a better song.

Here's wishing them all the happiness in the world in their life together.

Sing with me now

My kids came to town last week. They got here Wednesday night, but I didn't really get to start spending any time with them until Friday because they went to a wedding on Thursday while I was out buying a car.

Anyway, on one of the days they were here I started singing a song while I was fixing lunch for some reason.

Sha la la la la la
My oh my
Look at the boy too shy
Ain't gonna kiss the girl
whoa whoa

Sha la la la la la
Ain't that sad
Ain't it a shame, too bad
He's gonna miss the girl

Roommate's Son: Why are you singing a song from the Little Mermaid? It's a little girl movie.
Me: It's an awesome movie.
11 year old son: Maybe he just likes to watch mermaids. It's ok Dad. There's no shame in that.

No shame indeed.

La Cienega Just Smiled

In lieu of anything interesting today, I'm just going to give you one of my favorite songs: La Cienega Just Smiled by Ryan Adams.

Oh the night here it comes again
It's on with the jeans the jacket and the shirt
How'd I end up feeling so bad
For such a little girl

I hold you close in the back of my mind
Feels so good but damn it makes me hurt
I'm too scared to know how I feel about you now
La Cienega just smiled, "See you around"
And I hold you close in the back of my mind
Raise my glass 'cause either way I'm dead
Neither of you really help me to sleep anymore
One breaks my body and the other breaks my soul
La Cienega just smiles and waves goodbye

Oh the night here it comes again
It's off with the jeans the jacket and the shirt
How'd I end up feeling so bad
For such a little girl
And I hold you close in the back of my mind
Feels so good but damn it makes me hurt
I'm too scared to know how I feel about you now
How I feel about you now
La Cienega just smiles and says "I'll see you around"

I bought the CD (Ryan Adams - Gold) as I was going through my divorce, so I was in a pretty fragile emotional state. This song would make me lose it every time I played it. At least if I was alone. It still brings up some pretty strong emotions from time to time, and that's the sign of a great song. At least in my opinion. I don't know that this clip really does the song justice, but it's the best one I could find on YouTube. I hope you enjoy it.

Here's the thing that's so much more depressing than the infidelity itself

Last night I was listening to Pedro the Lion. A friend of mine gave me the album Control shortly after my ex-wife and I separated. Back then it suited my mood just about perfectly with its lyrics about infidelity, jealousy, revenge, etc.

Below are a few examples that I can think of off the top of my head (listed by song):

Rapture: This is how we multiply, pity that it's not my wife. The friction and skin, the trembling sigh. This is how our bodies move with everything that we can lose. Pushing us deeper still the sheets and the sweat, the seed and the spill. The bitter pill yet undiscovered. Gideon is in the drawer, clothes scattered on the floor. She's arching her back, she screams for more.

Penetration: If it isn't penetration then it isn't worth the kiss.

Rehearsal: You know I always said that I would kill you if I ever caught you stepping out. But now I see I did not know the half of what hatred and revenge were all about. Darlin' you are so unoriginal, each move more obvious than the one before it. I guess I could be bigger but I'd rather make you pay.

Second Best: Second best. Second best. I guess I can live with it. After all what's wrong with second best?

Priests and Paramedics: The neighbors heard a fight. Someone had a knife. It must have been the wife. Husband's lost a lot of blood, wakes up screaming, "Oh my God! Am I gonna die? Am I gonna die?" As they strap his arms down to his side. In times like these they've been taught to lie, "Buddy, just calm down you'll be alright."

I could go on, but I think you get my point.

Pedro the Lion is one of the few bands of which I own a t-shirt.



A different friend of mine bought it for me once he realized that I liked the band. I wear the shirt occasionally, and usually someone will ask about it. One day I was talking to him while I was wearing it when a girl asked me about it.

Her: Who's Pedro the Lion.
Me: It's the name of a band.
Her: Really? I've never heard of them.
My Friend: Oh, that's because [Minnow] and I are the only people in the world who have been able to listen to an entire album without killing ourselves.

The band broke up early last year, but the lead singer (and main artist behind it all), David Bazan, is still doing solo work. He's good, in case you're interested in some music that may or may not make you want to kill yourself.

Well you talked about nothing which was more than I wanted to know

My friend and I made a detour on the way back from lunch yesterday so that I could pick up the new Modest Mouse cd. I grabbed the cd and proceeded to the check out line as my friend followed me.

Cashier: Are you two together?

Friend: Well, we're not together. We're just enjoying a nice shopping experience together.

Cashier (very embarrassed): I wasn't trying to say you were gay.

I wanted to say something to him about how it's ok, we don't have to hide anymore, at least not here because nobody knows us, but as he said when I told him that later, "You don't want to put me into a position where I'm going to say something really humiliating."

I've only listened to the cd once so far, but it's definitely got one of those catchy songs that I end up playing over and over again (4 times on the way to work this morning). The lyrics are even optimistic (for those of you who say I listen to depressing music).

Here are a few examples of the optimism:

- Well it would've been, could've been worse than you would ever know.
- Oh, the dashboard melted but we still had the radio.
- Oh, the windshield was broken but I love the fresh air you know.
- Well the car was on blocks but I was already where I want.

Note: If you'd like to hear the song, I believe it plays automatically when you click the link to the band at the beginning of this post, or you could just play the clip below.